Trigger warning for: rape. If you are sensitive about the topic, please don't read this. If not, then, prepare yourself.
July 27, 2029
I walked down the street to the house, "55 Ludovico... yup, this has to be the place." I reached out to knock on the door but before my hand even touch the wooden slab, it opened. "Ah, Ms. (L/N). Come on in. We have much to discuss." I stepped inside and suddenly a jolt of plea-I mean pain shot through my head.
I woke up in a chair. The first move I make is to look around and adjust my new surroundings. A shelf, boxes, tiny clutter, a desk, and the dark silhouette of a man sat behind said desk. "Ah, you are awake Ms. (L/N). Let us get started." "It would probably be a little better if I could actually fucking see." The lights flickered on. I see that the man has gashes all over his face, they seemed like he should be dead or gravely injured. I only had 4 words going through my head, 'I wanna be him' He looked at me as I continued to stare at him. "Any questions? Who I am? Where you are? Why your here?" "1. You are... theeeee... Auditor. 2. I am in a chair, on the address of 55 Ludovico Place. 3. I am here with you to discuss me and my sins." "Very good. Do you know what I am?" "You are an explorer from the further regions of experience, a demon to some, an angel to others, but to be specific, you are a 'Cenobite'." "Interesting, you have caught my attention. Any way, on May 25, 1993, you were caught with David Shi-thead heading for you car, why did-" "Simple, I was giving him a ride home. He said his parents weren't home and he got anxious about being alone, I drove to my house instead. Things got out of my control, conecent wasn't given." I bowed my head in defeat. "I... I am not proud of the things he made me do. I don't know why. I-I was only trying to me nice. But, no one knows what concent means these days." "You didn't stop him. You didn't try." "I couldn't. I was only 16, he was at least 19. He over powered me. One wrong move and I would have been dead." That's when I noticed he was writing this whole thing down. "N-nobody's gonna s-see that right?" "One person other than me. One question. What are your thoughts on pain? For it is a common currency in my realm." 'O-oh my God, I love this guy's life. I so wanna be him right now!' "I-I... don't know what you mean." "You do huh?" "W-what?" "You wanted to be me? Ah, that's cute." "Y-you c-can-?" "Yes." "Can you please... not, read my mind. It's kinda my own safe space." "Mabey. Any ways, the assessor will be with you soon. Please, bad mouthing him isn't a smart thing to do. But..." " 'But' w-what?" He pulled out a razor and, oh good lord, it was so hard to keep myself under control. The anticipation was agony, and not the kind I liked. Have you ever felt so anticipated that it was almost too much? That there was a big tingling sensation on thing that wanted the thing you were anticipating? Like, take this for instance, my arms were tingling because they were anticipating the razor on my skin. He could tell, I know to he was trying to make me wait for it. He wanted to make it agony. Finaly, the blade of the razor cut through my skin and I shivered at the fact that it was cold and the fact that it felt sooo fucking good. I wanted to hold my head because I was losing so much blood. But of course, my hands were cuffed to the arms of the chair. "There you go, at ease." He said that with such a tone that, since I was already shaking trying to not moan, I moaned. Softly but he still, unfortunately, heard. He chuckled. He pulled the razor away and I steadied my head. "I hope you will be able to stay, Darling." I blushed as he pulled out the papers and put the razor in a drawer of the desk.
I was startled awake by the assessor or, he was probably the assessor. He smiled and looked at me. He pulled out a bottle of red liquid. "Nonconsensual blood." Tears welled in my eyes.
Okay this is the triggering part. So, turn back now if you need too.
Le flashback
"No, Connor!" "I promise, you'll love it!" "Connor, no! I don't wanna! I won't like it!" I was pressed against my wall. I had brought him home to be nice but I didn't want this. His hand snuck up my thigh towards my crotch. "Babe," "I barely know you." "I'm horny, please just help me." "N-no!" He undid the button on my shorts and started, rubbing me through my panties. Before I had known it, he was... forcing himself inside me. Blood was everywhere. "STOP!" "NO! YOU ARE MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!" With each thrust he said 'mine'. I was... violated. That's when I remembered I was a virgin. I... liked the pain. That's when I remembered what this was... Masochism.
