narcolepsy | norenmin

03

"sometimes this coldness is better than the fire that burns ."

renjun stood in front of his desk, the email staring evilly from his screen as it mocked him. it sounds crazy but he seriously thought it was laughing.

his thin white arms were crossed over his chest as he stared intently, almost like his eyes could click on the letter and reveal his fate.

mr. xiao had just finished making his bed and tidying his art supplies, and was now standing in renjun's doorway, watching the youth have a silent panic attack.

renjun could make his own bed and clean his own room, unlike most spoiled rich kids, but today was a exception.

literally nothing could be on the boy's mind, but his body had other plans.

renjun's dark eyelashes started to flutter shut as the great flood of exhaustion rushed over his small body, this feeling all to familiar.

"ah hell, not right now..."

renjun stood up and walk over to his newly made bed, his legs feeling like lead and his eyes were already closed.

the mellow twittering of songbirds and the faint hum of cars out side of his apartment were the only noises that accompanied renjun's soft breaths as he fell into deep sleep.

_

renjun was a lonely boy.

after his parents died everything in his life changed. he could have kept his friends from school but his friends thought differently of him after the accident. he remembers clearly how their giggles would silence when he walked into a room, the pity on their faces broke off more pieces of renjun's heart. 

why could they just pretend nothing happened?

he didn't need their sympathy , but they gave it out like it was loose change. 

sometimes a broken person wants to feel normal again, but society has chiseled a plague of pity in humans hearts, and renjun was exhausted from it.

sympathetic sorrow from countless peoples that could have cared less about his parents drove renjun to his cold isolation. 

when mr. xiao would propose going out and meeting humans, renjun would ponder whether people would treat him like they did when he was a child. perhaps society would expect him to preset himself with toxic masculinity to cover up his past and disability like it always does. that kind of expectation is what scares and disgusts renjun, but his dream is just upon the horizon and he can't give up now that he is this close.

_

orange light was the first to reach renjun's eyes when he woke up, it was clearly around sundown and renjun spent his entire day battling his brain for his dream.

he knew that it was now or never. the tiny boy jumped out of bed and slammed on the keys of his laptop so it woke up from its sleep as well. 

"college here I come...?" renjun whispered hoarsely to himself, his eyes wide of the screen as his index finger once again was placed over the email. 

*click*

_

narcolepsy is a interesting disorder. it's different with everyone that is diagnosed with it. broadly narcolepsy is brought on by a lack of the brain chemical hypocretin which regulates sleep. therefore if someone lacks this chemical your brain and over produce or under produce it causing multiple different disorders.

renjun's condition is considered on a scale of one being normal and ten being a sleep every three minutes, he would be a six. renjun is diagnosed with narcolepsy that is mainly triggered by strong emotions, so if he is stressed, scared, angry, or sad, his narcolepsy can be triggered. renjun's condition can also be triggered by lack of sleep or exhaustion. 

**narcolepsy is a serious condition and I am in no way making fun of it or fictionalizing it as a fake disability. my facts are not entirely true therefore do not try to diagnose yourself based off my statements. some of my statements will be exaggerated to fit the story**

_

//wow im so sorry I haven't updated, school is crazy but I could have updated but I had zero inspiration until now lol anyway expect a lot more updates and longer chapters in the future because im gonna have a lot of time on my hands