Just Go With It

The Carnival

Megan's POV:

Roaming around the carnival for the past three hours with Noah has been nothing but fun. Being with him just feels so normal, it's almost like we've known each other all our lives. I know that sounds so corny. And now that I think about it, I haven't thought about Christian since the last time I saw him. I've just been so caught up in whatever this thing is with Noah I haven't even been able to think normally. I thought it was just going to be sex between us but now I really want him all to myself. It's not like I can't separate my feelings from the fucking but I'm not in high school anymore... Maybe I don't want to separate my feelings from the sex anymore. Maybe I just want to have crazy good sex with someone I love.

Love? I don't even know if I have ever even loved anyone before. How can you tell? I mean I know I haven't felt as good with anyone else as I do with Noah. And I definitely didn't feel this way about Christian when we were together. I've had really good sex with other people before... It just isn't anywhere near as good as it is with Noah and I don't know.... It just feels different with Noah. I can't explain it. I have spent all morning and afternoon trying to piece together all these feelings and what this between us could mean to me. I just got out of a relationship... And not a very good one... And it ended pretty badly. Maybe it should just be sex between Noah and me.

Friends with benefits? Could I handle that kind of relationship with Noah? It would mean we wouldn't be exclusive... He could be with other girls. The thought of Noah touching or kissing on another girl makes me my stomach start to churn. I really want him all to myself though... What do I do in this situation? I need to talk to Julia about all this, but I just hate thinking about high school and having anymore fuck buddies like I used to have back then. I was young and dumb. I know Julia says it's alright to be proud of your sexuality and girls can fuck just as much as dudes can... but I still always got shit for the guys I fucked in high school. I don't want Noah to think I'm like that anymore, or ever even know about it at all. I guess I'll just go with it and see what happens. I mean what else am I supposed to do? I certainly can't give him up he is too damn perfect-

"You good?" He hands me some cotton candy he just bought for me, pulling me from my thoughts. I guess I got carried away with my thoughts when he left to get the cotton candy. He sure does have me doing a lot of thinking lately.

"Yeah, yeah I'm good. Just thinking." He smiles and just nods, accepting my answer. We walk side by side through the crowds of people before he speaks up again.

"So, what's it like being Robert Bowman's little sister?" I knew my brother would come up in conversation at some point. I actually thought it would have been sooner. I guess it's just hard for people to get past the fact my brother is a big NFL quarterback.

"That's the thing... That's really all I am to anyone is Robert Bowman's little sister." I roll my eyes, thinking about how much my life changed when my brother became big in college football and then went on to the pros. I guess it's better to be known as Robert Bowman's sister than the party girl I was known for being in high school.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to piss you off." He laughs but grabs my hand to show me he doesn't care about the subject anyways. As soon as his skin connects with mine that tingle shoots down my arm as it always does when we touch. How can I not keep him all to myself? He pulls me over to a bench facing the carnival dirt derby. We sit down close to each other and the feeling of him being with me and holding my hand makes me want to tell him everything about me. I've never really talked to anyone about my family before so why do I want to now?

"I'm sorry I don't mean to get irritated about the brother question."

"Don't worry about it, we can talk about anything you want." He smiles down at me again and I lean over, laying a kiss on his cheek.