Stay...Alive

Chapter 21

When Victorine was alright enough to walk, she realized that they were indeed in a ghost town, abandoned buildings in all. Some were so worn down they looked like they were about to topple over. Others were so badly burned that they barely looked like buildings. The wood walls were devoid of color. The streets were devoid of life.

Victorine could've sworn she heard voices, but they turned out to be the concerned murmurs of adults in the crowd. It seemed odd to Victorine that she barely thought anything of what was around her anymore. She'd seen the wreckage. She'd seen death. She'd seen places that were abandoned, like this one, but crawling with scavengers and thieves. It barely fazed her when nothing was wrong.

These people didn't have that. A bombing or evacuation was their first experience with the war, and this was their first time seeing the aftermath. Victorine couldn't help but remember the first time she'd walked through the wrecked neighborhood Jacey used to live in. Seeing the burned-out houses and thinking about the bodies inside. Seeing Jacey fall to her knees and Parker do everything in his power to comfort her. Was everything they'd seen their equivalent to all that?

Surprisingly, other than Primus, Lane was the one who walked with her the most. He gave Primus a sort of weird look at first, remembering what happened on the train, but was chill for the rest of the time (just about as chill as you could be when walking through a ghost town). When the silence got too uncomfortable, he'd summon up something to talk about. It was rather something he'd heard or some random childhood memory. But Victorine at least appreciated the thought.

"So...people here say that I talk weird," Lane began, after the two passed by a crushed house that had a shoe sticking out the doorway. No foot. No bodies. Just an oddly clean shoe. "I mean...I can't help myself, I from Jersey! South Jersey! I've been told we can't pronounce anything right. My cousins from outta state would call me every Mar-in Luther King day and be like 'Hey loser, what day is it?' And I'd say 'Mar-in Luther King day,' and then they'd start laughing and asking again, and then I'd say 'Mar-in,' and they'd laugh harder 'cause it's supposed t'be Martin. That's why they were never invited to Christmas."

Victorine chuckled, in spite of herself.

"So, I know you heard it a bunch of times, but thanks again for savin' everyone," Lane said. Victorine broken eye contact and smiled. "You made it go better than a few days ago, when..."

Victorine's eyes widened as her mouth fixed into a frown. The memories all came in.

"Oh God, sorry," Lane apologized, though it didn't work. "Y-you saved me then, and I heard someone saw you save this kid, and-" That made it even worse.

But instead of withering in guilt, he simply stated, "What's bothering you?"

Victorine glanced at him, a little confused. "Something's bothering you. Something's been bothering you, too. I could tell. What is it?"

Victorine saw that he was dead serious. She took a deep breath, and answered, "When I pushed Primus and Cherie out of the way of the bullet...it hit the brunette lady. And killed her."

Lane, at first a little surprised at her masterful use of a full sentence, shook his head into a scowl. "That's what you're sad about?'

Victorine nodded as subtle as she could. Lane pulled her aside (Primus following them). He put his hands on her shoulders and looked her dead in the eyes.

"Don't beat yourself up about that, okay?" he told her. "Okay? Don't you dare. Listen to me, you saved someone. You saved two people. You didn't fire that gun, did you? You can't just stop a bullet! Ya did everything you could. So stop beating yourself already. Got that?"