Dense

Chapter 1: As stupid as ever.

Ryuji is dense.

He is many things; a best friend, a solid confidant, strong, overly caring, a hot head-- but above all else, he was irrefutably dense. He is one of the most solid people for emotional intelligence, he could read the room like he reads soccer player plans. Ryuji could tell him exactly how his friends were feeling, and yet couldn't pick up a book or retain any level of social or intellectual intelligence to save his life. Quite literally. Akira is sure it was that emotional intelligence that caused them to meet that day. The students whispering, his casual invitation to the rooftop, and Ryuji knew what it meant to be an outcast, he could sense one from miles away. Ryuji held a judgement in him and Akira trusted in that judgement for as long as the Chariot arcana had stayed within him.

And then it happened.

Each soft blush that tinted Ryuji's cheeks had his heart racing, every time Ryuji read manga with him, every wide-eyed moment watching soccer matches, the flushed face and the gentle panting after a long run. It all bubbled within him and filled him with unnecessary feelings, his lungs felt like they couldn't get enough air when he was around him, and Ryuji merely looked at him and smiled.

As dense as ever.

Akira's heart still flutters with every call, every text, Ryuji's voice swells on the other end of the phone- a fake imitation of the real person, and his mind will occasionally flash back to the days fighting shadows. The huge grin on his face, the cocky spirit, the anger and the passion Ryuji held in his heart. It was almost grounding. A reliable feeling in the shape of a high-schooler desperate to belong, and the electricity that had burst forth from their encounter had stood his hairs on end.

He wanted to feel that way again.

It hadn't come as a surprise later in the months when Ryuji came over to visit, the others would soon join them in his house, and a part of him felt alien to the room. He wanted to be back in his old attic where him and his best friend would play video games and read manga, and Ryuji shot him a soft look and a bigger smile. They could do that anyway, for old time's sake. The others had taken up spots sleeping around the house- the girls in the living room, the boys upstairs. It had been a unanimous agreement to let Akira continue to have his room, the girls felt like they would be imposing on him otherwise. Yusuke had offered to sleep outside of the room as well, but they all agreed to stick the boys in the bedroom and the girls would sleep downstairs. Ryuji had later joined him on his bed despite his own makeshift bed being placed upon the floor- incapable of sleep was the excuse.

Ryuji had confessed to nightmares, he says that they don't bother him as much any more. Some days he dreams of explosions and sinking ships, other days he dreams of blood and flesh and ruined cities. He says they shouldn't worry about him, he'll be fine because he always woke up afterwards.

The bags under his eyes begged to differ on his state of mind.

Before either of them knew it, they were closer than normal. Akira's arm had moved on its own, wrapping around his friend's shoulder to pull him close. Ryuji wasn't big on affection, but he was seemingly too tired to complain about the comfortable chest his head had landed on. As if that was all the permission he needed, Ryuji had passed out before his very eyes.

Ryuji is his best friend, his confidant, and he felt a devotion to him. To protect him.

Even as they awaken from their slumber, Ryuji looking up at him from the floor- he had been awake for some time it seemed- he smiles at him. His heart, predictably, flips a few times as his stomach knots. The bags only seemed worse .

Ryuji makes an excuse later that he's not feeling too good and to go out without him, everyone shows distress over his 'illness', chiding him for interrupting their trip to see Akira. Akira offers to stay with Ryuji because it's the least he can do as their host. They stay inside for the day and watch movies instead. Ryuji murmurs a soft thanks towards him, and Akira finds his lips twitching upwards. That night when they all went back to bed, Ryuji was sat on the end of his bed again, head in his hands and muttering about not being able to shake the damn nightmares off. When he sat up, the other looked at him like a deer in headlights before relaxing and hunching back over again. He says to not worry about him.

The reply only shoots disbelief back at him.

His eyes trained on him, sparkling slightly in the dim lightings of the room. Akira doesn't quite know what caused him to pull Ryuji close, but they sat there for some time, in each others arms- the soft muffled sniffles of his best friend. Exhausted, drained, and in desperate need of proof he belonged.

He says the nightmares sometimes are the girls yelling at him. He can still feel the slap against his cheek for causing them worry. Sometimes they're casinos, or vaults, and he's trapped, he's alone.

He's scared.

The reply is of a promise. He will keep him safe. No nightmares will cause him harm any more, and Ryuji's face lights up- just a little- enough to give him hope. Akira had changed people in the Metaverse, and though it no longer existed, who was to say he couldn't invade dreams too? It brings forth laughter from the blonde, and the flips his heart performs when Ryuji jokingly tells him he loves him is enough to burst the words in his throat, and all protest dies.

Ryuji is his first crush, and Ryuji continues to be dense.

They're all pretty sure they could spell it in neon lights and Ryuji would never notice. They had all known for quite some time that Akira's heart had been taken by the 'local idiot', they didn't understand how, but they were determined to see if they couldn't get Ryuji to fall for him too.

That night, Ryuji had sat at the end of his bed again, an uncharacteristic pensive expression on his face. Akira sat up, he apologises for waking him again, and Akira states there's no issue to it. He says another nightmare came to him. His voice had shaken out all its resolve, and even as their hands meet and their bodies close the gaps. Even as their arms squeeze each other until the air breaks their lungs and he's left gasping through choked breaths and tears and snot.

Even as Akira says that it's fine.

Even as Akira, short of breath, states that he loves him.

The sobbing stutters.

" I know . "