Eighty Days of Heartache

the forty-sixth day; [4]

THE FORTY—SIXTH DAY
» PART [4]

"FAWN? WHAT THE fuck happened?"

I can't answer him as I take a seat on the toilet and wail, the aching of my heart reaching new heights. The truth Nero served me was a medicine so bitter and unneeded, it honestly makes me want to vomit.

"Fawn! Fawn, stop it, you're going to cause a panic attack," he chides in a strangely caring manner, crouching down onto my level so that my eyes meet.

I'm still sobbing as Theo clenches his fists tightly, gritting his teeth as he glances over at me. I'm shaking — an absolute mess — but despite all this, Theo still wants to care for me.

"Fawn I am begging you, say it's okay for me to hold you right now."

It could be the strained tone of his voice, or the fact I feel so weak and so vulnerable in this moment, that I nod my head and let Theo do the one thing he's been dying to do since he arrived back in town.

Hold me.

Instantaneously he scoops me into his arms, the pair of us huddled between the sink and the toilet as I sob into his shirt. He shushes me adoringly, his mouth against the parting of my hair as I cling to his collar tenaciously.

"Nero found out," I cry into his shirt, still holding his collar tightly between my fingers as his hand rubs gentle and consoling circles on my back. "He— he found out about what happened —"

"Shh," Theo hushes my hiccups to a halt, resting his chin on the top of my head before lifting me up and placing me on his lap. "Don't talk until you've calmed down, okay?"

Muttering an okay, I simply sit in his lap and cry like a baby into his shirt. He lets me, and for that I'm grateful. It's like he is back, the old Theo, who would hold me in times like this as he tried his hardest to find out what was wrong before becoming my solution.

But I don't want to dependent on him anymore. Independence should be my key, and yet here I am in the arms of Theo Holland once more as I tell him my problems.

But it feels so good and so right.

It takes time for me until I feel as if I've finally calmed down, managing to wipe away the sticky tear residue which lingers on my cheeks. I suck in a deep lungful of air which is hindered the slightest bit between my hiccups.

"Nero found out about what happened last year, and just..." I fall short of words, not knowing how to describe his actions. His tone of voice. How to describe the possessed man who posed as my boyfriend. "Went in on me."

Theo rubs my back still, his touch warm and tender to the touch as his fingers linger like a whisper on my hip. "He found out about the crash? Why did he get mad?" Theo frowns instantly, leaning backwards and grasping some loo roll for me.

His hand comes up to my cheek with tissues at the ready to dab at some running mascara, and the gentle gesture makes my eyes water once more.

"That I kept it from him, I guess," sniffling, I grab the tissue from Theo's hand and use it to swipe at the underside of my nose. "I just... didn't want him to find out about it all."

Theo's still frowning when I tell him the truth, with one brow lifted quizzically as he asks me, "what? I'm still confused."