Stories of Our Love

part 2

I thought I might throw up if I'm being honest. You stepped out of that truck and walked into his yard and I froze. It had been months since the last time I had seen you, much less talked to you. I thought you still hated me, and I was so scared. I tried to pretend I wasn't. I think it worked, but I'm not really sure. I tried to talk, but my throat didn't seem to work half the time. I reverted back to the old, shy me that just messed with you to hide my feelings because I definitely still had them.

That moment, standing in his kitchen, I made a promise to myself. I wouldn't fall for you, not again. I would swallow my feelings and just be friends. I wouldn't hint at anything and it would all be okay. It worked for a while. We did all the things delinquents do on a nice, fall day and I felt good, so good. I was fine sitting alone with your friend that said he didn't like me much, but as soon as you came out and sat in that chair across the table, my breath caught in my throat. 

It wasn't that you looked like a model or that anything changed; I just saw you. The problem was that as I saw you I thought about all of the times you had made me smile and laugh and forget about my worries. And it made me smile. I sat there smiling like an idiot, listening to your friend ask me to say things in German and just glancing at you and hating you for being so easy to care about.

All in one day, although I didn't know it, my whole life was going to change.