Cambria
I don't love my boyfriend. I really don't I have this feeling about Bella but I just don't understand it, I've never felt this way.
I scroll through my phone finally coming across a picture of Bella. I scan the picture.
Bellas hair perfectly falls over her shoulders and her sweatshirt and skin tight leggings. She normally wore baggy sweatpants but I wasn't complaining. The sweatshirt was maroon with stains from times she stayed over and she threw water on me so I threw wine on her sweatshirt. It was hilarious.
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"Cambria! This is my favorite sweatshirt!!" Bella gasped taking off the now wine stained garment.
"What do you mean?! You poured water on me!" I laughed
"I-wha--no! This is wine my sweatshirt will be stained!" Bella frowned
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My boyfriend didn't give me that. Well-- I don't know, I mean sure we have fun but if I did that I would get kicked out. Bella didn't get mad like that, it was always fun with her. Never a dull moment I just don't get it what am I feeling about her?
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"Cambria~~" Bella smiled
"What~" I smiled back
"Look at me!" Bella laughed turning my body towards her.
She was wearing my black dress, far too short I bought it off of E-bay hoping for something longer.
Bella had her upper thigh exposed though mine only my lower thigh was exposed, bella was a bit taller than me so I guess that explains it.
The dress was tight around all the right places. Bella had a perfect body, small waist and a big butt. She didn't have the biggest boobs but everything else about her made up for that. She had full hips but never worked out. I never understood it she ate a lot and never exercised so I don't get her flat stomach. Over the years she started to cover she body so seeing her in the skin tight dress was astonishing.
"Wow I--" I gasped finding the right words to describe it.
"I know I look foolish, I'll take it off." Bella said seeming a bit upset.
"No-no! You look amazing" I smiled.
"Really?"
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I smiled thinking of that, wishing she did it more often she a ass s truly beautiful and loved, it's a shame she goes through such pain. If I were her I would embrace my curves she looks amazing and I hope she knows thst I never thought I would find someone that beautiful inside and out. I thought the perfect person didn't exist but here I am. I lost her, but if I don't get her back she'll find someone else right?
Wait no, I can't let her go that easily I need her in my life again, how could I let this happen? But before I try to get her back I need to figure out this feeling.
It feels as if I'm drowning but I can breathe or the butterflys in my stomach and absolutely raging. Maybe it's the feeling of being all alone at a party but it still hasn't hit you thst you're alone. I have no idea what I'm feeling. Maybe it's Loneliness, happiness, numbness? I just can't put my finger on it but it's right in front of my eyes. Maybe I'm blind.
That could be a could reason. Maybe I'm blind that's why I can't see this feeling. But you cannot see feelings, what is wrong with me. I have a boyfriend I don't need to think of another person.
Even though I don't like him, I don't know what to do I'm stuck in this thing I don't know what it is because it can't be a "love triangle" because I'm not in love, I can't be in love with someone else. I have a boyfriend.
My boyfriend is... well I don't know what is he? He doesn't act like my "boyfriend" he doesn't even act like my friend. What is he? I'm so confused...
Authors note:
Uhm hi its been about 3 months haha... my birthday was 2 weeks ago so yay me.
I'm drowning in homework I'm extremely behind and I'm on the edge of failing so I'm working on getting my grades back up before my mom literally kill me.
I'll upload when I can so sorry its short and bad I made this in 25 minutes, it's late byee.
-mya
