Randomly Generated Stories

Two Warm Uncles Crying to the Beat

Emily looked at the wet piano in her hands and felt weird.

She walked over to the window and reflected on her dirty surroundings. She had always loved cold McDonalds with its unrealistic, uncooked ugly people. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel weird.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Emma . Emma was a fresh stale subway sandwich with wiggly mouth and john mulaney elbow.

Emily gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a swampy, fierce, tequila drinker with cripple mouth and dangley elbow. Her friends saw her as a loopy, loud leg lamp. Once, she had even helped a gorgeous Ella cross the road.

But not even a swampy person who had once helped a gorgeous Ella cross the road, was prepared for what Emma had in store today.

The soggy teased like dying kermits, making Emily crunchy.

As Emily stepped outside and Emma came closer, she could see the flat glint in her eye.

Emma gazed with the affection of 5403 silly dripping dolphins. She said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want Internet access."

Emily looked back, even more crunchy and still fingering the wet piano. "Emma, eat my shorts," she replied.

They looked at each other with stupid feelings, like two open, orange old women loving at a very reclusive funeral, which had K pop music playing in the background and two warm uncles crying to the beat.

Suddenly, Emma lunged forward and tried to punch Emily in the face. Quickly, Emily grabbed the wet piano and brought it down on Emma's skull.

Emma's wiggly mouth trembled and her john mulaney elbow wobbled. She looked squishy, her emotions raw like a curried, confused cat.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Emma was dead.

Emily went back inside and made herself a nice shot of tequila.

THE END