Silence. Even though the squadroom is a madhouse with all the officers running around to see who got hit and who didn't, you don't hear anything. All you are focused on is holding pressure on Sister Peg's bullet wound and looking into Elliot's terrified eyes. Suddenly, you're snapped back to reality when you feel Sister Peg's body give out and you look down to see her covered in blood, not moving, not breathing. You feel tears spring to your eyes as you remove your shaking hands from her limp body and look up to see Elliot checking to see if Jenna has a pulse. But with where the bullets ended up, no one could survive that.
As if in slow motion, you watch paramedics and EMT's enter the squadroom and check on everyone that's injured. They start bringing in body bags and your stomach drops. Five body bags total. Special Agent Greer, Eddie Skinner, Luke Ronson, Sister Peg and Jenna Fox are each loaded into the bags and wheeled out of the station on gurneys. Once they're gone, you keep your eyes on Elliot as you slowly walk over to his crouched position on the floor where Jenna laid bleeding out and eventually died in his arms.
"Elliot," you whisper, crouching down next to him, resting your hand on his shoulder gently, trying to get him to look at you and not the puddle of blood in front of him. You squeeze his shoulder gently but when he still doesn't acknowledge you, you very gently turn his face to look at you and get him to look you in the eyes. "Elliot, the paramedics need to check you out to see if you're bleeding anywhere." You say, still whispering softly. You get him to stand up and bring him over to one of the paramedics and when they see that the blood isn't his but only Jenna's, they clear him. You watch as he goes to his locker and takes out his belongings.
He hasn't said a word since before the shooting.
You sit at your desk, trying to figure out what to do next as you watch him walk into the captain's office and come out what feels like only seconds later and you notice Elliot doesn't have his badge or gun on him. They both have somber looks on their faces.
Did he just quit?
Before you can ask him what happened, Elliot grabs his jacket, puts it on and leaves, not looking at you. You look at Cragen and he motions for you to follow him into his office and you do, dreading what he's going to say.
He looks at the ground, gathering himself because he knows what he's going to say will break your heart and his.
"Elliot put his papers in."
You grab onto the chair next to you for support, your knees wanting to give out. What did he just say? You think to yourself. You nod with tears in your eyes and when you look back up at the man that has been your surrogate father for over twelve years, you see tears threatening to come into his eyes as well.
He's earned it." You choke out, not wanting to cry in front of the man who you think expects you to be strong. He tries to reach for you to comfort you, but you back away slightly but not in a way to hurt his feelings. He knows you're not a touchy feely person so he understands.
You walk out of his office and you're on your way to your desk when Cragen comes out saying there's been a rape in Central Park. Fin looks at you and instead of going with you to the scene, knowing the state you're in, he tells Munch to come with him.
"No," you say. "Gimme five and we'll roll." Fin nods and puts his jacket on as you walk down the hallway. You're on your way to the cribs when you see the interrogation room to your left. The one that had become yours and Elliot's over the years. Sure, Munch and Fin had used it too but you "claimed" it with Elliot since day one. You open the door and try to take a deep breath but it doesn't help. Before you know it, you're holding onto the table for support and sobbing.
Elliot left.
And he wasn't coming back.
He just shot and killed a 13 year old girl whose mother was raped and then murdered.
How do you come back from that?
You don't.
