So the Story Goes...

Chapter 1

“Just tell me what you want, Amanda!” That voice, his voice. The voice that has given me so much joy, it booms from doorway; from a man that I don’t even recognize anymore. Blame it on the tears in my eyes if you want, but I don’t see a glimmer of him in this person that stands before me, panting heavily in the doorway. This isn’t the man I met, this isn’t the man I was falling for.

 

This man has issues; his face is ashen, his body clearly malnourished, but what gets me are the eyes. His eyes. The eyes that have constantly held me under their spell. They’re wild. I wish I could see some of the beautiful color I know they should hold, but I don’t dare take a step towards him. When I look at his eyes, all I see is black.

 

His frame heaves with each deep intake of breath: I continue to hold onto my knees, shaking from my sobs, as I sit at the head of the bed. Our bed. I try to stop my tears, fearing they’ll aggravate him; his behavior becomes erratic when he’s like this, and I don’t want to goad him into doing something I can only hope he’d regret.

 

He takes a step towards me, clearly seething. I can’t help my instant reaction. I cower into as tight of a protective ball as I can manage. This this makes him laugh a harsh laugh, “You think that’ll save you, Gem? You think you could keep me from doing anything my heart desires? I think you forget who has the power in this relationship. Do I need to remind you?” His voice is both grave and menacing. Having made the ten steps from the doorway to the bed, he is now towering over me.

 

I sit there staring at him. I’m frozen with fear, and I know there’s no way I’ll be able to get out of this room if he doesn’t want me to. I wish I could say that I know he would never hurt me; but at this point, anything is possible.

 

It was never supposed to be like this, he was supposed to protect me from this life, make sure I never had to deal with it again.

But I guess I’m getting ahead of myself, aren’t I? He hasn’t always been the Big Bad Wolf, and I’ve certainly not been Little Red Riding Hood. That’s not our story. His and my story is one of passion and love, not of beasts and damsels in distress. Having not yet said it before, I’ll say it now, I love this man; but he’s a monster I can’t control, and his path is spiralling down faster than either of us can stop it. But before you assume you know our life, allow me to tell you how it all began, at least as best as I can. Let me start from the beginning.

It all started with an annoying song on the alarm...