I am beautiful
I am strong
I am worthy
I am smart
I am happy
I am amazing
I am loved
I am important
I am enough
No.
I'll cross that out
For I was born
Into this body
Born into this stereotype
Told I must follow these rules
To be accepted.
They told me
I must cover my face up
Plaster on fake features and skin
Cover up
What makes me
Me,
An attempt
To temporarily cover
My scars and blemishes,
An attempt
To fix
This pile of shattered glass
I have become.
They told me
I mustn't show my battle scars
Hide them away,
Be ashamed of them.
They told me
I had to be perfect,
Flawless,
That I would be ugly
Without these brown powders,
Skin-toned liquids,
That I wasn't allowed
To be broken.
They told me
To perk up
Brush on these bruised,
Chalky colors
To shove away
The part of me
That was human.
They told me
"Look how beautiful!"
Once they'd put on my fake face
Attempted to pick up my puzzle pieces
Scattered 'round my feet
Fit them together
Tied them up
with a pretty bow
As if it was the only thing
That mattered.
They told me
"How stunning!"
Once they'd hurt
My poor feet
Crammed them into little shoes
Tied strings and fabric
So tight
Around my waist
I could barely breathe.
They told me
I could never be as brave
As a man,
Never be as smart
As a man,
Never be as strong
As a man.
They told me
Nobody would love me
That I would be rejected
If I didn't pretend to be
This perfect version
Of "human".
They told me
Being shattered
Is unattractive,
They told me
Being flawed
Wasn't allowed,
They told me
If I wanted
To be loved,
I must chisel away
The parts of me
That are deemed "ugly"
The parts of me
That are bigger
Than the two inches
That are desired.
They told me
Limit the food
You put in your mouth,
If I wanted to be
"Beautiful",
They told me
After you're done chewing
Shut your mouth
"Don't talk"
"Don't object"
"Follow the rules,
Sweetie".
They asked me
"How are you?"
"Good", I respond
Though I'm not good,
I'm not put together
Though it might look like it,
They taught me
Put on this fake face
Spit out these automatic,
False responses,
Become this over-glorified
Version of me.
They told me
Make your face up
It'll make you pretty,
Hold you together,
Keep the men begging
at your feet.
But how am I supposed to look
Like I am this unshattered,
Perfectly sturdy
Face of glass,
When the only things
They told me would hold me together
Are these battering colors
That're tearing
me
apart?
