Casey's POV
I stare at him for a while, scared that I'm imagining him being here and any moment he's just going to fade off into nothing. I don't know how he's here or more importantly why he's here but I honestly could not care less. He looks perfect as usual, his hair pushed back from the wind that's dramatically increased sine me and Mike started to walk home.
"Hi," I say still in awe of his presence. Politely Mike smiles at him and makes his way inside, leaving me and Beau standing in my doorway, just staring and taking each other in. "Hey," he coolly replies, snuggling into his coat.
"How did you get here?" I ask not focusing on my words as much as his reaction. His face holds no particular emotion which quite frankly scares the hell out of me. I'd much rather have him yelling at me than his cryptic use of small talk. I think we've both established that it doesn't get us anywhere and is just a huge waste of our time.
"I drove," he replies as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. I suppose it is really. "How did you get here?" He raises his eyebrow and I don't miss the sarcasm to his voice.
"I drove," I say carefully not quite knowing what his intentions are. "Are you going to let me into your new home or are we both just going to stand here freezing our asses off?" He asks eyeing my apartment. I couldn't be happier with his request, it's gotten so cold out here and hopefully it'll be less awkward when we can both sit down and relax a little.
"You wanna come inside my house?" I ask smiling at him. "Sure," he replies waiting for me to go in first before following behind me. Mike must have wacked the heating on as soon as he got in because we're greeted with warm air, much more comfortable than being outside. After a while though I'll have to turn it off, it's too expensive to keep it on for too long the wages we're on.
I take my jacket off, throwing it on the table before taking a good look at the place. Surprisingly Mike has kept it reasonably tidy, I mean obviously there are a few plates scattered around the house but I wasn't expecting any miracle. It feels amazing to be in my own home again.
"Can I get you anything?" I ask interrupting him from glancing around the house for himself. I find myself a little disappointed that I couldn't clean it before he saw it for the first time. I'd imagined him to be invited down and how we would both be excited to see each other. The place would be perfect and he would be amazed by it. But still now, he just stays quite, no emotion to his face. I got more out of him on the phone.
"No. I'm good," he looks at me before taking a seat on my arm chair, taking his coat off as well. "Well what the f.uck do you want, Beau? Can't you see I'm trying?" I burst hurt by the fact he can come up here and act so rejecting towards me. Yeah I wasn't expecting him to run into my arms but the way he's acting, I at least deserve an explanation.
"Can't I see you're trying? That is rich, real rich, Casey. What are you expecting me to do exactly?" He asks automatically standing up. "I expect you to at least act like you know me!" I shout bringing my voice down when I remind myself that I don't want to argue with him. We should talk to each other maturely, god knows our arguments are pointless; we're both stubborn and loose our temper far too easily. Our limit is about four sentences before one of us exits or says something that we shouldn't.
"I was so happy that you came, Beau. Now you're going to spoil it by being an ass," I whisper finding myself grateful that Mike's kept his distance. It's obvious he heard us the volume we were 'talking' at.
"I'm being an ass? Excuse me for being a little upset but you left me again, Casey. After the first time I didn't think you'd ever do that to anyone ever again, let alone me. I really don't get what's going on inside your mind. Hell look how crazy you've made me, I've just drove for three straight hours getting to this place. I'm so mad at you but I'm still here. Now please give me an explanation."
"I don't have a good one," I reply honestly. "I'm a s.hitty, horrible person but I needed to go home, Beau. I had to sort stuff out with Scott and in all honesty I couldn't think. All that was going through my mind was you and it wasn't fair for me to be with him like that. You told me you still loved me and I can't count how many times I'd imagined you saying that to me again but when you did it felt wrong. After last night I knew I had to come back here, this is my home and I wanted to give you an easy way out. I needed to know if what you felt was real and not just something that you wanted because you couldn't have it," I explain feeling a lot better to get everything out. Most of what I said probably doesn't even make sense to him but I just needed to vent out and get everything out of my mind. I don't even know what's going on in my head but that's what he does to me. When I'm with him all of my thoughts become messed up.
"For god's sake!" Beau shouts running a hand through his hair. "Don't you understand, Casey? I love you and that's why I'm here. That's why we should be together. You think that you can't think straight? Well you should take a look at my brain. This is us though. I don't know what I can say to make you believe me. You think that I would want an easy way out? No chance in hell, you may be confused as to why I love you but honestly the feelings mutual. I've had and hopefully got your love even though I don't deserve it, do you know how unreal that feels for me? All my life I've never been sure of who I am and what I'm supposed to be but one thing I'm sure of is that I need to be yours and I understand with perfectly clarity what you are... you're mine. Last night all we did was sleep, I just got to hold you and it was by far the best night of my life. We've been through so much s.hit but guess what? We're still here. Now you can't tell me that doesn't mean something." He turns to face me and I'm hit with an overwhelming amount of love for this man, how I could stay away from him for so long baffles me.
I risk a step towards him and to my relief he doesn't move back. "You've got my love, Beau. You've always had it, you never lost it," I say to him, looking him dead in the eye so he knows I'm not lying. A small smile appears on his face as he rests his head against mine. "I love you so much," I whisper.
He replies by crashing his lips to mine, holding my body tight against his. "Does this feel right now?" Beau asks placing a tender kiss on my forehead before moving away to look at me, watching as I nod eagerly.
"Case?" I hum in response, awaiting his words, resting my head on his chest. "Can we start again?"
I press a gentle kiss on his lips and answer, "I'd like that."
THE END
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Can We Start Again //Beau Brooks// (Editing)
Fanfiction'Meeting you was fate,becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control'
