you made a bad girl out of me | roger taylor

was it mine?

A/N: I love you all. Thank you for supporting me. Writing is my favourite thing in the world and having people appreciating my work is priceless. Thank YOU! x

VIII

As soon as Roger got out of the car, it started to pouring. It seemed destined to happen, since that fit perfectly with what the blonde was feeling at the moment. Pain. More pain than he could bear, more pain that ever. Pain he did not know why he was feeling it. Pain that ripped him from inside. The possibility of losing something that wasn't even formed yet - Roger didn't understand why it was burning him inside. Maybe it was the last straw in a series of events filled with unhappiness.

From the car to the door of Sophie's apartment, Roger got completely soaked. He was again fortunate enough to be allowed to enter the building out of help of another person, most likely because the torrential rain had made the older man feel a little sorry for the young misfit. Roger walked up the stairs to Sophie's floor quickly, not caring at all for the icy water that was penetrating his skin and made his bones ache.

As soon as he reached her door, hesitation ran down his spine. Surely Sophie wouldn't want to see him after he'd ignored her confession about the feelings she had for him. Surely Sophie wouldn't want to see him after he'd married her best friend. Surely Sophie wouldn't want to see him after losing a baby. A baby that could be his.

When Roger finally got the courage to ring the doorbell, the door opened. It was not Sophie, it was Deacon. John's eyes widened, surprised to see his friend there and in that rather pitiable state. After all, he was supposed to be in the Caribbean. His expression shifted quickly and Roger realized that this wasn't his Deaky. It was a Deaky who didn't want to look right in the face of his best friend. It was probably a Deaky who already knew everything. Roger and John had not seen each other since the wedding, but Roger knew that John and Sophie decided to end the relationship. And from John's gaze, the drummer could also feel that maybe the relationship between him and the bass player was over as well. He knew.

"I thought you were going to come back tanned, but it looks like pale bitches have a hard time.", John said as he leaned against the front door. "What are you doing here?"

"I ...", Roger didn't really know what to say. He slid his hand through his wet hair and tried to gain strength to face John. "I know what happened. I'm worried."

"I suppose you are, you studied biology, you must know how to count too.". John's tone of voice went from acid to sweet in a snap. "I'm not going to confirm your fears or not. If you want to come in, she's lying on the couch. I think she's awake."

"You know?"

"About what happened between you two? I know."

"Deaky, will you ever be able to forgive me?"

Roger's eyes had tiny drops of lymph and John could see that. His heart squeezed and the acidity seemed to disappear. Roger was not a friend, Roger was a brother. Could John live without forgiving his family?

"I want to.", Deacon began, as he walked away from the door of the woman's apartment that had shattered them. "It's all I can give you for the moment and maybe for the rest of time. Now we're not friends, we're co-workers and we're going to continue to be. I don't know what's going to happen in the futere but I can't be there for you right now. I know, you're thinking that I forgave her and I'm not doing the same when it comes to you. It's because the pain is worst when it comes to you and me."

John patted Roger's shoulder and walked away. A tear scrolled down the drummer's face. He could have done it all in a different way. If he had sat down with John and confessed, he knew that Deaky was the kind of person that would understand. Shit.