My Life In A Nut Shell

My Apology To Me

This is to the guy that I went out of my way to get noticed by,

The one I trusted, the one who told me lies,

The one who made me feel like I was the only one,

The one who was through with me when the sex was done,

The one who made me feel like I was impossible to love,

The one who called me over when he just wanted to bust,

The one who made it clear I'm not the girl he wanted me to be.

I tried and I failed, so this is my apology.

This is to the one who gave me life, the one who gave me birth,

The one who complains and looks at me like I'm the worst thing on the earth,

The one who emotionally beats me down,

The one who's supposed to lift me up from the ground,

The one who's supposed to bring to my face nothing but smiles and laughs,

The one who brings everything that is the opposite of that,

The one who constantly compares me to others,

The one who makes it so difficult to love her,

The one who says I'm not the daughter she expected me to be.

I understand that, and this is my apology

This is to the sick man who crept into my room,

The one who gave me those thoughts of ending it soon.

The one who lied and said I was crazy in the head,

The one who had denied creeping into my bed,

The one who left me scarred for life,

The one who is responsible for my silent cries at night,

The one who says I've changed his life

'Cause I've caused problems between him and his wife,

The one who said I should have kept quiet, I should have just let things be.

He's right, nothing positive came from it, so this is my apology.

This is to my friends who say I do nothing but complain,

The ones who left because they say I've changed,

The ones who didn't stick around in my time of need,

The ones who gave me more of a reason to grieve.

I understand I'm not that girl I used to be,

And for that, this is my apology.

This is to the girl with the low self-esteem,

The girl who cries so terribly,

The one with the forced and fake smile,

The one who hasn't been happy for a while,

The one who's afraid to trust any man,

The one who's afraid to let anyone in, 

The one who's passed up many chances at love

Because she finds people hard to trust,

The one that was robbed of her purity and self-esteem.

This is to the girl I'm embarrassed to be.

This is my apology to me.

- Natasha Underwood