8 th Grade

Boys!

What do you do when you fall for a close friend of yours. Well I did and I regret it. I fell for a friend named Anthony two years ago. I never told anyone. One day is 6th period he came and sat by me randomly. Then we started to talk more and more. He started to ask my friends for my number and they gave it to him. I thought they were joking and pranking me because who could ever like me. I'm weird, ugly, nerdy, uncoordinated, and I'm not cool. Besides that, one day after school he texted me. We started to talk everyday all the time. The more we talked the more he flirted with me and I just went with. He told me I was really cute, cool, and unlike most girls in our grade but it was a good thing. I was swept off my feet. He kept asking me if I liked him tho and I just told him it was my secret. Then, he told me he like me multiple time. He even told me he liked me in French. He took my scrunches in class and would where them the whole class everyday. But a couple of weeks after that he didn't ever text me but only talked to me in school and got annoyed when I wouldn't talk to him. We ended up not texting after that anymore. Then him and I got into a mini argument in class. I asked him why he never asked me out. All he said was "because of the other girls I dated". I found out he dated the most popular and prettiest girls in our grade. I was so upset I almost cried. He pretty much just told me I couldn't live up to them. Our other friends could tell I was upset after that. I stoped talking and looked like I was gonna cry. Later that day, I texted him because I felt bad knowing I probably hurt his feelings. Then I asked him again why he didn't ask me out. He's response was " he didn't want to get dumped again and he didn't know if I liked him so he didn't want to get rejected. Also he wanted to wait for high  school to be in a relationship." I told him I understood because I did. I felt the same way. But the more we stoped talking the more we drifted apart. Now he doesn't sit by me in 6th period. I thought it was going to be easy to get over him. He was just a boy, but I was wrong. I still think about him all the time. I think about the texting and I think about one of my favorite memories with him.
         We were running the last show for the Mamma Mia Musical. I just couldn't stop crying during the show. It was about half way through the show and I had to stand by him before I went on the stage. When I got over there I just looked  him in the eyes.
     He asked " Are you  crying?"
                   "Yes" I replied
"Do you want a hug?" He questioned
All I did was shake my head yes and the next minute I knew I was surrounded by his arms. By the time he let go I had to on stage.
     I think about him all the time. I reread all the text messages. I can get him out of my head and it drives me crazy. I think about how when he would talk his eyes would light up like stars and how he made me laugh and smile when I felt like crap. He was the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. I regret falling for him but at the same time he was the best thing that ever happened to me.