Random crap lol

Nagito x Spear Oneshot or OneSHIT (Crack) (Warning: cringe)

djnosleep  this is gonna be shit

To everyone reading this, I formally apologize for this mess.

Nagito Komaeda was standing in the military base, searching for the supplies he was gonna use for murder. No, not to murder someone else. He was gonna murder himself so he can kill off the remaining classmates, minus one. He had just learned almost everyone was part of a group called The Logang, and he hated Logan Paul so he was like "fuck, gotta kill them off."

As he was searching for supplies, he came across a magnificent sight.

It was a Spear. A beautiful,hopeful Spear that made his kokoro go doki doki and his hope boner grew by like 10 feet at least. It was just so full of H O P E.

Nachos walked over to the spear, and gently wrapped his hands around the spear's handle. He caressed the handle s l o w l y.

"You are the most amazing being I ever laid my eyes on, Spear-Senpai. You fill my usually cold heart with so much hope. I don't know why I love you this much. A piece of worthless disgusting trash like me doesn't deserve such a outstanding individual like you. You are so great, I may like you even more than hope itself!"

He thought about it, and said "Well ok, maybe I don't like you as much as hope, nothing could beat hope and it's s e x i n e s s, (this is b a d)  but I also love you, Spear-Senpai! Let's kiss and make our love for each other eternal!"

To make the scene extra romantic, he turned in the radio in the room and played Careless Whispers, 106 kazoo version:

He just thought the song was sexy as hell.

He also turned every Monokuma panel and plush doll away from them so that A. He and Spear-Senpai could have privacy, and B. So that the plushes' and panels' innocent eyes wouldn't be tainted.

"Ready for your and mine's very first kiss, Spear-Senpai?" Naruto Komaedatass asked it. It didn't reply, but in his mind, Nagitambourine heard it say "yes, I would like that very much."

'Always so polite...' NANIto t h o t to himself. "But that's what I like about you." He said aloud to the spear, as if it heard his thoughts. I don't think Nagito thought about that detail.

He started to kiss the spear's pointy sharp part at the top, not realizing that shit can kill people. It was a light kiss though, so he only cut his lips. Pepto 🅱ismol dripped on 🅱agito's shirt.

"Son of a 🅱itch!" 🅱agito swore, not realizing that also affected the Monokuma panels and plushs' innocent ears. They ran away, yelling that Nahitormissto would be banned from their Christian Nintendogs streams for cursing.

Nagitomato finally got all the Pepto off his lips. "Let's try that again, shall we?" He said to the spear, and proceeded to kiss it's handle. He thought it was a great kisser, and he was kissing it more passionately by the second, but not inappropriately because this is a kid friendly story on a kid friendly wattpad account.

He was having a beautiful moment, and he wanted it to last forever, until........

"WHAT THE HELL?!?"

Nagaytoe turned around quickly. There standing at the doorway was Hajimeme, Kazooichi, and Fuckyouhiko staring at him dumbfounded. He blushed.

"Uhhhhh....hello there." He waved at them shyly, Spear-Senpai still in his grasp.

"Why in the name of Nekomaru are you making out with a spear?!?" Kazuichi yelled out. (I ran out of pun names)

"Yeah, what the shit?" Fuyuhiko said.

Bananagito looked at them, then back at Spear-Senpai. He kissed it quickly, then looked back at them with an angry face.

"Because Spear-Senpai is the only one here besides the fangirls and fanboys that accept me, and doesn't call me an insane marshmellow fluff covered mop to my face! It loves me for who I am, and is the only thing here keeping me from falling into despair! Also, it hates Logan Paul like me!"

All was silent.....until Hajime started snickering.

"What are you laughing at, tsun tsun hair!" Nagitaylerswift yelled.

"Yeah, what's so funny?" Fuyuhiko asked.

Hajime calmed down, and wiped the tears from his eyes. "It's just that....I realized you had the missed opportunity to say you fell into..............

........'DESPEAR!"

Everyone was dead silent.

"Come on, guys!" Hajizzme said. "That was pretty funn-"

Hajime was cut off by Nagito throwing Spear-Senpai directly into his face.

R.I.P Hajime Hinata, he lived and died by the meme.