Second Generation Gays (Boyf riends)

Ch.3 Jeremy

I look over at Michael from across the room. I felt guilt twist in my gut as I remembered the past few days.

I wouldn't go to sleep next to Michael anymore. I wouldn't hold his hand or take his food. I didn't want to go to hell.

I didn't want that.

So I kept pulling away.

I didn't talk to Michael anymore. I didn't even look at him. That'd be gay, and gay people go to hell. And I don't want to go to hell.

"Jeremy," I stiffen at the voice.

"Yes, Michael," I respond.

"Why have you been avoiding me," he asks me.

"Because gay people go to hell. And you're gay, I'm not going to go to hell. You'll just drag me down there with me."

"B-but," I feel his hand land on my shoulder. I close my eyes and start to shake.

Hell is for bad people, it's for gay people. I am not bad. I am not gay. Gay is bad. I'm not going to be dragged to hell with Michael.

I yank myself away from Michael and move away.

"No, get away from me," I say, unaware of the poison in my voice.

"But we're friends, Jerem—."

"We aren't friends! I don't want to be friends with a gay person. You're going to go to hell, and I'm not going with you!"

I storm off and into a group of kids playing with blocks.

"Can I play," I ask them.

"Of course," exclaims one of the boys playing. His name is Richard or something. I don't really remember much anymore.

I play with them until recess starts. I stand to go outside when the teacher calls my name, "Jeremy? I need to talk to you."

I turn around and ask, "yes, Mrs. Moca?"

"You know about my wife, correct," Mrs. Moca asks me.

I nod, "you guys love each other very much. You have been married since senior year, after you guys met in freshman year."

"Do you believe me and my wife are going to hell?"

"No, you guys love each other very much and haven't been bad!"

"Then why do you think Michael is going to hell?"

"Cause he's gay! And gay people go to hell!"

"Oh, Jeremy—."

"Gay people go to hell! That's what Mr. Drew said!"

Mrs. Moca goes down to my height and smiles, "oh, gosh children. So innocent, so small."

She stands again and looks down at me, "Jeremey, me and my wife are also gay. We're both female and, therefor, technically gay."

"B-but—."

"No buts. You should apologize to Michael, you really hurt his feelings. Also, don't say hell, it isn't a good word. Gays don't go to hell, people who don't open their minds do."

"Got it."

"Good. Michael, you can come out now."

Michael came out from behind Mrs. Moca and stared at me. I go over to him and hug him.

"I'm sorry, Michael. I didn't know it wasn't bad," I whispered to him.

"It's okay, Jer. I forgive you," Michael says back.

And we stay in our embrace until recess ends.