Rain Drops Beond the Window

Whats below our masks

Some people greeve dofferently. Some cry some yell.... and some self harm. Sadly self harm was my way of copping i wish it haddent been because now i look down at my scars and deply regret it. But leading up to the insedent on that sad lonley rainy day. As i got on to the bus on the first day of 8th grade my stomach felt like it was playing hopscotch. I saw a girl with stright black hair and pail blue eyes and soft looking pail white skin she was wearing a dark coat with a red and gold triangele pin on the coat she look creepaly ritch. But she sill looked nice so i went to go and sit next to her. I lokked at her and sayed "hello my name is noel" she looked at me with a devilish look amd told me to get out of her seat "you ugly pig" i looked at her stund i didnt know what to say so i got up and moved to another seat.
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When i got to school people keept pushing me. Someone pushed me once more i fell but i got up quikley and tryed to get to my next class but right when i almost got to class a sophmore shoved me into a locker my head slamed against the metal he ran away to quickly for me to confront him so i picked up all the stuff i droped and got to class and sat in my seat. All the students slowly started fluding into the class room and once all the students got into the class room the teacher did roll call. I didnt hear my name at all because i had my nose buried in a book. But i was inturupted by someone saying " hey carrot your supposed to say heare you would know that if you had a brain". I could tell he was talking to me because i was the only one in the class with red hair not to menchion freakels spladed all over my face and the most embarrassing part is i have one green eye and one blue  and after he sayed that the teacher stoped roll call so i lokked up at the person who sayed that it was a tall boy with blonde hair and brown eyes. When i looked up at him he loooked qt me stright in the eyes " oh mygod look a her eyes shes an ailian" everyone was laughing.the teacher sayed "everyone quiet down", and he told the young man who called me an alian to go to the office,"hear" i whisperd. after that i kept my head down. but of coars the teacher told me to put my head up i lokked at him stright im the eyes... he seemed stund there was a paus... "young lady can i see you after class" i sighed "sure" later after class i went to talk to the teacher the teacher was organizing papers while i was waiting like i didnt mean anything he eventually turned around and asked if i can take my contact lenses out there going to be a distaction i looked at him in shock he looked at me in a very rude way "why do you look so shocked" i looked down i could feel a tear fall of my facehe quickly relized and ran to grab a tisue but by the time he got backe was alredy walking away i could hear him saying im sorry but i just tuned it out. when i was walking to my next class everyone around me was caughing alian under there breath it felt like everyones eyes were on me. so i just walked quickly with my head down people called me ailan all day long. i got home and jaylah wasnt home because she worked late on tuesdays. so i slamed the door behind me and ran to the kitchen and grabbed a butter knife and ran to the bathroom and grabbed my leg razor like ive done many times befor. there was only one blade left. i stuck the butter knife under the last blade and pride it out i rolled up my sleeves and placed the blade on my wrist and pressed down as hard as i could i quickly draged it stright accross my wrist i did it multiple more times by then there was blode dripping from my wrists but i jumped from the sound of the front door opening i fluded to the bathroom door nobe and locked it i turned on the sink foset and put my wrists under it to wash the bloode of but it just kept on bleeding so i turnd of the foset and grabed the towel we always keep on the wall. i put the towel on my writs and put presher. i heard the worst sound i could have heard "Noel are you home" it was jaylah "shit shit shit shit" i tought. i shouted back "ues im in the bathroom"  well im going to start super if u want she shouted back from the other side of the bathroom door. "ok i will be down in a minute. i took the rag of my wrists it had finaly stoped bleeding but the rag was filthy with bloode but luckly i brought my back pack in with me i shouved the rag in my bag along with the razor "i wish i could shrink down and be in a bag all alone so no one cqn ever see how ugly i am and call me tupid name that feel so true" i ruched to pull my sleeves down i unlocked the bathroom door i slamed the door open and fluded to my room i pracktically riped the closet door of and i thew my bag in the closet. i slid down the stairs to the kitchen and helped cook we. all know we have a place in our heads. thats below our masks. its completly difernt from our normal selvs..... well some of us are normal. but we have to lean to control it and not letting it just run wild.