Tangled Knots

4 - Claustraphobia

Previously:

Leslie, Alainnas mom abused her badly the day Alainna was set to leave with her dad, she had to be rushed to a hospital by a close family friend, Brent Blackwood. She's released from the hospital, and dragged on a McDonalds run for food with him. A McDonalds run where she finally checks her phone, excuses herself to the bathroom to privately argue with her mom for the first time since the incident. Only it turned out to be much darker than just an argument over the phone. Alainnas mom sends her the most twisted and vile video, of her burning herself to death. This proceeded with Alainna running out of the fast food place, into the cold air as it poured rain, screaming and crying, drawing a crowd to herself. Police show up, and she spends the night in the police station gathering her thoughts as the detective assigned to her case decides the next step for them. Two weeks pass, she's living far from the outskirts of New York, now in the cold country of Canada, and hasn't even taken time to appreciate the humongous new house she's living in or the company of her dad and his good people. Alainnas head would've been in the clouds living with the sweet, pretty boy in such a beautiful place, and receiving more love from her father than she felt in a long time. But all she can think of is that her family of 16 years, was gone, and it was partly her fault. Her past had followed her here, refraining her from ever living life again.. or so she thinks.

|||| tangled knots ||||

I gasped and woke up, heavily breathing in and out. My heart pounded so loud that in rang in my ears. My room was nearly completely dark, the only light being the street lamp light peering through my blinds. I glanced at the clock on the night stand, it read 5:00 AM. It had been a week since the worst day of my life, and each day I was greeted by the same horrifying dream. I wiped my tear stained cheeks and layed back down.

Do I want to go back to sleep though?  Every time I had previously resumed sleeping, the dream did too. My heart began to slow down and breathing eventually steadied. I was scared in the dark alone, I was used to sleeping with Coco beside me. On my worst nights, she'd hop into bed as I cried and attempted comforting me by snuggling her body beside me and letting me pet her long, golden fur.

With my eyes shut, I concentrated on the bustling noises of the city. Although it wasn't strange to me, because living so close to Manhattan, we would take the drive there each week and it was filled with crowds, traffic, and noise; I did live in the county. I wasn't familiar to falling asleep with the sounds coming from a few streets away. Time passed as I layed there, and I decided I'd rather stay up than endure the dream again.

I slowly got up and pulled the comforter off of me. I was met with cold fall air. I couldn't see anything - but there was a slit of light coming from underneath my door frame. That's weird... Everyones always asleep by now. I lifted myself off of the bed and crept towards the door slowly, trying my best to avoid the places where the floorboards tended to creak. My toe hit the corner of my dresser when I took a step forward and I tried my best not to hiss in pain.

Finally, my hand felt the doorknob and I successfully made it. I opened the door and my room flooded with light. Now able to see, I stepped out and walked down the hall as quietly as I could, towards the source of the light. The kitchen.

I paused when I reached the entry way. "Brent?" I whispered out loud. He stood there in his flannel patterned pajamas, back facing me, eating the left overs of pasta. More like gobbling.  "Brent?" Again, no answer. Then I noticed the headphones in his ears. I wondered if I should've just crept back into my room as if I was never there and went back to having a nightmare, or the second option, approach him and make awkward small talk. Both of which seemed really unappealing to me. I stood there for another minute, deep in thought, weighing out the pros and cons, before realizing I had really just stood there silent for a good minute like a creep.

Before my face went tomato red at the realization, I made my way towards him. When I reached him, I pulled one of his earbuds out and tried again. "Brent?"

His body twisted faster than the flash and eyes widened before he let out an "AH!" and dropped the pasta on the floor. Our eyes both shot down and I immediately flung my hand over his mouth.

"Shhh!" I whisper shouted. My heart pounded and I prayed we didn't wake up my dad. I didn't need him interrogating me with any more questions.

The silence that engulfed the kitchen was broken with the faint sound of feet hitting the floor from outside the kitchen. Then we heard the sound of a light switch on, our eyes both flickered to the light coming from my end of the hall.

Before I let my fear stop me, my hand wrapped around his wrist and I tugged him towards the storage closet on the other end of the large kitchen. He resisted first, but when he saw the panic in my eyes he followed and closed the door behind us.

Now we sat in the completely dark closet, I sank to the ground and sat up against the wall. My heart racing was interrupted by a soft, "Brent?" coming from what sounded like the other end of the kitchen. Then silence. All I could hear was Brent's uneven breaths and my heart drumming in my chest.

We heard the sound of trash being thrown out, then a sink turning on, moments later, the footsteps left the room.

"Why are we in here?" His deep voice whispers.

Suddenly, I remembered he was there too, in this small space, and I felt my face flush. I was relieved that he couldn't see me right then. I felt too close to him.

"I just don't need him asking any more questions," I replied. Ever since I arrived it's been like an interrogation with my dad. I understood that he just wanted to get to know me, but some of his more personal questions he could've at least eased into.

"What do you mean?"

"You know, he'll ask why we're up." I really didn't want to go into details. The small closet made me feel more claustrophobic as we talked. In the past two weeks, him and I hadn't talked this much. I barely went out of my room.

Brent shifted, his foot hitting mine. "Sorry," he softly laughed. "But Alainna, it's no big deal, he doesn't care when I'm up, but I'm def still getting shit for that broken plate tomorrow." I felt myself smile.

"Yeah I guess," I simply replied. I didn't feel nor want, to explain to him. I knew my dad would bring up insomnia again.

He'd contacted my doctor from my old town, to get a referral for a doctor here in Canada. The doctor told him I'd missed all of my scheduled appointments in the past two years. He told my dad I should've been on sleeping pills for my insomnia and antidepressants, both of which I hadn't taken in a year because my mom stopped taking me and wouldn't let me leave the house.

My insomnia hadn't been an issue until I moved here.

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I hadn't updated in sooo long so here's a teaser for the next chapter!! Going to add the rest tonight!! ❤