Breaking All The Rules

Chapter 3

My date with Jerome made me realize that I was missing out on so much in life. I was so consumed with my work that I wasn't actually living life. I longed for companionship, but I was afraid of being hurt again. My sister Carmen called me the next morning to get the details about my date. She could be so darn nosey sometimes. Good morning Cece what do I owe the pleasure? I asked knowing what the conversation was already about. "Is it a good morning or a gooood morning" she said." I was tickled. If you're asking if we had sex no we didn't I responded. "Alyssa you can be so boring" she responded. Get out and live a little she said. I wasn't one of those women who believed in having casual sex or hooking up with random guys. The only guy I'd ever been with was Ryan and though I didn't imagine that we'd ever be back together I also hadn't thought of being with anyone else in that manner. I quickly changed the subject. We spoke for awhile about an array of things and made plans to have another family outing before my siblings left town. Later thar day I received a call from work one of the nurses had gone home sick and I asked to come in to cover the remainder of her shift. Joe wasn't one of my patients that day, but I still made it my business to go over and visit him anyway. He was still in pain, but he appeared to be in better spirits. Seeing a familiar face seemed to brighten up his day. At the end of my shift a few of the staff members went to a local bar to grab some food and drinks. I wasn't in the mood to go out but I had the decision to be more social so I tagged along. I ordered chicken wings and a few shots of Tequila.  Soon after placing my order I heard one of my favorite songs come on and I couldn't resist the urge to get on the dance floor and dance. One of my gay male coworkers, Justin,  joined me on the dance floor as I rocked out to Bruno Mars.  It was so liberating and free to forget about everything and dance the night away. As I was dancing on the dance floor I spotted  a familiar face. He was playing pool on the other side of the room with a few women and men. It was Jerome.This guy was seriously everywhere. I tried to ignore him but I found myself glancing over every few seconds in his direction. One particular woman seemed to be very cozy with him. She was a tall thin blonde woman with rather large breasts. I noticed that whenever it was his turn she would caress his muscular bicep or blow kisses at him. I'm not sure why seeing it bothered me so much but it did. We literally had only been one date. One amazing date. I had no right to be jealous or possessive. I went to the bar to get myself another shot. My mind raced with questions. Why would he pursue me if he was already spoken for? Clearly it was his girlfriend I thought. I battled with my assumptions for awhile. Maybe I was overreacting I thought. Maybe she was just a friend, but is that how friends interacted with each other? He's rich and could have any woman he wanted why would he be serious about me? I rejoined my coworkers at the table after downing my shot; they were talking and laughing about a few things that had happened at work that day. I was so consumed in my thoughts that I couldn't bring myself to partake in any type conversation with them. I was mentally checked out and ready to make my exit. I ate my food quietly and then thanked the crew for inviting me and proceeded to go home. As I was moving closer towards the door Jerome spotted me. "Alyssa" he called out, but I didn't look or respond. I felt so stupid and humiliated. How could I think a man like that would ever be interested in a woman like me? I scrambled through my purse to find keys so that I could quickly speed away. I didn't want any interaction with him. He lightly jogged outside after me in hopes of catching me, but I fled quickly. When he got outside all he could see was the back of my car dashing off into the darkness of the night. That night I promised myself I'd refocus on my studies and my career. I almost had a slip back into the love boat and was happy that I was able to catch myself before I fell victim to its wrath again. The next day Jerome called me but I didn't answer. I probably should've tried to ask questions and gain clarity, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Men like him have a way of being great with words and I was in no mood to be drawn into his web of lies. I put the phone on the charger and continued on with my day. After several unanswered phone calls I received a text from Jerome asking if I was ok. I debated if I should respond to it but ultimately decided to. Flashbacks of the night before were fresh in my mind. All of could think of is the tall blonde stroking his ego and who knows what else. I responded to his text "look  I think it's best that we not do this and save both of us the trouble. Thank you for a wonderful evening."I sighed heavily. I'd had the opportunity to fall for someone and just as the relationship began it died. He replied back but I didn't bother to read it. I knew whatever he said would bait me into a conversation and I wasn't willing to go down the road. I turned my phone off for the day and binge watched a few shows on Netflix in my pajamas until I eventually fell asleep. The next morning I awoke to the ringing of my door bell followed by knocks I knew it was my sister she was the only one who would ever do that. I opened the door to find her standing there with my three brothers. "Why aren't you dressed" she said. I'd overslept. We had planned on taking our parents to brunch and maybe going to catch a movie. "I tried calling you, but your phone is going straight to voicemail" she said in a stern voice. I know mom junior I replied. Give me a second to just get myself together. You all can have a seat on the couch. I took a quick shower, put on a pair of jeans and a t shirt and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. After about 20 minutes we were on our way. Family time was exactly the distraction I needed to get my mind of Jerome and what I'd saw a couple nights before. After the movie we parted ways; it'd be the last time I'd see my siblings for a few months. I came home to find a bouquet of flowers on my doorstep from Jerome with a card that read "Alyssa I'm not sure what I did, but I didn't mean to push you away I've enjoyed getting to know you please call me." I smiled slightly. This guy doesn't give up I thought. I entered the house and put the flowers in a vase of filled water. I sat at the table debating on whether or not I should respond. His sweet words played over and over again yet I decided not to call. Instead I went online to enroll in my classes for upcoming semester of school. I had only known Jerome a short time but this relationship was already becoming to disruptive to my life and my normal routine. I was content with my boring life doing things the boring way I'd always done .Over the next few months I overindulged in my work and my studies. I had a daily routine of school, work and perhaps going to the gym every few days. My life was perfect; I couldn't imagine messing it with any other distractions. Through the grapevine I had heard that Joe was back in the hospital. He'd found a donor, but his body was rejecting the liver and it wasn't looking to good for him. Joe was the reason that I'd met his son and although we weren't speaking I could still go up and check up on him I said to myself. Joe was in the ICU. He was hooked up to a lot of different IVs and a PCA pump to help him to deal with his pain. He was napping when I saw him so I just sat there for a minute to be with him but not to disturb his rest. Seeing Joe in like this put life into perspective for me. I didn't want to die alone without experiencing the opportunity to have love and a family. Although we only spoke a short time Jerome told me so many great things about Joe.  Joe served in the military for 30 years and fought in many wars. He was married to a woman named Brenda for many years until she died of breast cancer 10 years ago. She and Joe had four children and Joe made all of them go to college because he and Brenda never made it to college themselves. I think I connected with Joe so much because he reminded me a lot of many own father. I saw a lot of the same traits in them. Seeing Joe brought me to tears and I couldn't visit with him any longer. I got up quietly and left. As I entered the elevator to go back to my floor  a worried face was exiting. Jerome and I locked eyes. It was the first time I'd seen him in months and I must admit he did look good. I could tell he wanted to say so much and wondered what'd happened between us, but luckily we didn't have the time. We greeted one another with gentle hellos and went on our separate ways. After I got off of work I went home and scrolled through social media. I'd blocked Ryan, but we shared a few mutual friends. I saw a congratulations post from our friend, Kirk. Ryan had gotten his new girlfriend pregnant. Ryan was going to be a dad. I sat there stunned with my mouth basically dragging on the floor. I'd spent the last few years of my life alienating myself in secret hopes that he'd come back and he was out here procreating with the next bitch. I couldn't handle the news. I called my sister Carmen but all I got was here voicemail. I poured myself a glass of wine and cried myself to sleep that night. About 3am I heard my door bell ring followed by frantic banging . I was unsure of who'd be at the my door this time of night but whoever it was they wanted my attention. I threw on my robe and went to the door. From the peephole I could see it was Jerome. In all of these months he'd never been to my house so I was confused about why he'd be here especially at this hour. I opened the door to find him crying. He was a big strong guy who was very brave. He was not the type of man I'd ever envisioned crying. What happened I said frantically. I figured it might have to do with his dad. "I'm sorry to come over this late but you're the only one that I could talk to about this" he said sorrowfully. "Dad has a serious infection and his organs are shutting down." "He's not going to make it." I've always found that death has a way of humbling people. It's the one thing in life that no one can escape. I opened my arms to comfort him. I embraced him for a few seconds at the door before inviting him in. We sat on my couch in silence for a minute before he rested his head on my lap. I stroked his head. We both sat there together two broken hearts in desperate need of healing.