𝕠𝕟𝕔𝕖 𝕦𝕡𝕠𝕟 𝕒 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖.

neuf.

-yoongi's pov-

waiting for the assistant director to start, yoongi sat patiently in the chair they provided for him, right in the middle of all the lights and cameras.

he played with his hands, picking at the dead skin, because looking around caused his eyes to hurt, considering there were bright lights everywhere he looked.

"yoongi, you ready?"

he replied with a nod of his head and waited to answer the questions he's been waiting for.

yoongi wasn't as nervous as he thought he'd be. he knew this was the only way he could tell his story, the only way he can try and win taehyung back. he's just hoping he doesn't fail.  

"how did you meet?" 

a fond smile adorned yoongi's face. "he just randomly walked into my house, drunk off his ass. i was so startled i literally fell. i remember tucking him into my bed, wondering why such a beautiful stranger decided to barge into my house." yoongi couldn't help but chuckle at the distant memory. it was still vivid in his mind. a lively brunette randomly opening his door, swaying as he walked, looking as if he were about to collapse any second. if only he could go back to the very beginning, he would change it all. 

"what was your first impression of him?"

"who the hell is this man? i was never more confused in my entire life."

"what's the perfect word to describe him?"

this took a while for yoongi to answer. so many words could describe every aspect that is taehyung. beautiful, soft, elegant, lovely, "endearing. he's the exact definition of it."

"do you still miss him?"

yoongi didn't hesitate to answer immediately with a "probably for the rest of my life. every single second of every day. i never stopped missing him ever since i walked out on him. i never stopped missing him when i went out on dates a couple weeks later. my heart yearns to go to him and tell him how much i regret leaving him. if time travel were a thing, i wouldn't dare wait to go back to that day and wipe the tears that i caused. i would change it in a heartbeat."

tears pooled in his eyelids. yoongi asked himself why? why would he ever put taehyung through that? through the pain and unbearable heartbreak. he never meant to, it was never his intention to. didn't he love taehyung? of course he did. but it already happened, it's too late. 

"so why did you do it? why'd you leave him?"

yoongi shook his head, grasping at his hair. "i- i never- it wasn't on purpose. i just- tae- he deserved better, better than me. i felt myself slipping away from him and i never knew why. he would always shower me with love. kisses. gifts, no matter the day or time. he was always there, and i never felt myself give the same effort back. i would always see the hurt flicker in his eyes when i would reflexively turn my head away or flinch. i had his heart in my hands, and i- i broke it. h-he was, i-is my everything. when i saw him today, i couldn't help but see the broken boy i left so long ago. he deserved a man who wouldn't be reluctant to love him with his all. i was a coward to leave, and that will always be my fault."

the sobs couldn't help but be released as he recalled that day. he remembered the desperate pleas of "you can't leave! i love you! please!" and yet he still walked out. he didn't only break taehyung's heart. but his own. 

"do you still love him?"

letting the tears fall carelessly, yoongi gave a half smile and looked at the camera.

"hopefully you're watching, but yes, God do i love him. it would be cliché to say i fell in love as soon as i saw him, but that's what happened. that day i took a good look at him and my heart swooned.  i fell in love with the beauty marks on his nose and lip. i fell in love with his boxy smile and little giggle. i fell in love with the way he would just shove food in his mouth and eat it all in just one bite. i fell in love with his fashion taste and the way he carelessly put clothes on, not worrying about if it would get him weird looks and stares. i love how he was one with the world. he appreciates the small things. the way flowers grow, how the sun sets, and how the moon glows at night. it's the main reason i love him. his passion for photography is alluring. his pictures would always come out amazing. i never cherished that. never told him how beautiful they were, how beautiful he is. i should've said it every single day. i should've told him i love him every single day. gosh, why didn't i? i'm sorry, i'm so sorry. i'm sorry that i didn't tell you how i love when you played with my hands. how whenever you made something to eat, you made me something too without me ever asking. how your eyes would shine no matter what we did. how you would swing our hands whenever they were intertwined. how you would whisper 'i love you' almost every night when you thought i was sleeping. and yes i know i can never make up for it, but i just wanted to tell whoever watches this, that walking out on you was the biggest regret i have."

"this is the last question. if you could go back to the day you met, would you remember to lock your door? preventing him to ever walk in your house?"

this could go both ways, yoongi could say yes, but he's selfish. "it may sound selfish of me, but no. i needed- no need him. he brought so much light to my life. he taught me how to see the world in a different perspective. the world didn't seem so dark and dull anymore. i just wish i could've realized it sooner."

"CUT!" yoongi flinched at the loud outburst from the director. he thought there would be more questions. 

"good job, yoongi. i think there's some mistakes you need to fix." the director then pointed his head towards the exit. 

a bit complexed, yoongi turned around and saw taehyung. he started to run to the exit before taehyung could have a chance to leave.

"tae- i- please watch my video. i'm really, really sorry."

he watched taehyung shake his head and his eyes darken. "no. make sure you watch mine. i don't know whether to love or hate you." and yoongi also watched taehyung leave. 

it took yoongi about two seconds to realize he can't let this happen, so he ran. ran to taehyung.

"taehyung! taehyung!"

he stopped running once he saw taehyung stop. "what, what do you want?"

"i have something for you. if you won't watch my video, at least take this."

yoongi handed taehyung a letter. "please."

the blonde took the letter and continued to walk out of the building. 

both their hearts were now heavier and their minds clouded. 

what now?