Perfect Fate ✔

37. I Won't Let Go

Him...

I led her to her room and slowly closed the door after. She sat on the bed and I sat opposite to her.

"Okay, first of all, I'm really sorry that I have been a selfish dick lately. I know I have fucked up for so long, but there's just one more thing that you need to know, Em." I sighed, a part of me regretting my decision to tell her now, another part regretting that I had kept this for so long.

"Okay?" She was getting nervous as well.

"Okay, just know the I love you first, alright? And I'm a jerk, I know that but I'm sorry. I really am." I held her hand.

"Okay, Dean, you're really scaring me. What's wrong?" She frowned.

"Just tell me you know that I love." I needed her to know, because I was afraid that what I was about to tell her might push her away for good.

"I know, Dean." She nooded. I took a deep breath, preparing myself.

"Okay. Earlier, when you said that I've never lied to you.. I have. I lied about something. Do you remember the night I tried to kiss you?" I asked.

"Yeah." Her voice was shaky and her hands started to turn cold in mine.

"When I left I was.. I was really mad that you stopped me from kissing you. I was really confused and I thought you didn't want it, you didn't want me, and that got me really mad.. and I-I went to a bar.. it's more of a night club.. I just went to have a couple of drink and think about everything." She pulled her hands from mine, as a fearful look passed across her face.

"What happened that night, Dean?" She asked, already guessing the answer.

"I drank too much and.. I.." I trailed off, hating myself.

"You didn't spend the night at a friend's house, did you?" She stated, shutting me up for a few seconds.

"No." I croaked out.

"What happened?" Her eyes started to water and someone squeezed my heart inside my chest.

"I was too drunk. I can't actually remember anything from that night. But the next morning, I woke up.." I stopped talking again.

"What, Dean? You woke up what?" She urged, her patience fading.

"I woke up naked in Lauren's bed.. and she was there too." I spilled. She looked at me with shock all over her face for a second then it turned into disgust.

"I swear, I don't remember what happened. I didn't mean for anything to happen at all. I was just too drunk. I'm sorry, Emma." I reached for her hand but she scooped away from me as her eyes watered harder.

"That was the last time she mentioned in the gala. She thought you would call her again." She stood up and walked away from me.

"Yes, but I swear I was going to tell you. I wanted to tell you right after the gala but the break in happened an--"

"Why didn't you tell me before?" She cried as I stood up in front of her but she took a step back.

"I wanted to wait. We fought a lot and I wanted to wait and give you a break from all the pain and everything you said. I didn't mean to lie to you, but we had just made up and we were so fucking happy. I'm sorry, Emma. I didn't mean to hurt you. I swear to you, I was fucking wasted. It was a stupid mistake." I tried to reach for her but she stepped away again.

"But, you lied.. and.. and you slept with her." Disgust and hurt were all over her face.

"But I was drunk. It's not an excuse, I know. All I mean is it didn't mean anything. I swear to you, if I was sober I would never have done this." I shook my head, trying to convince her.