Young and Old, Back and Bold

Chapter 26

The nights leading up to Christmas break were the worst. Nico couldn't look forward to the holiday, couldn't holiday shop even though he had the money. The nightmares kept a hold of him, echoed through his soul even when the sunlight streamed in. He hid it well in front of others, tried to show them that his memories weren't that bad. It was the only reason he got rid of Percy and Annabeth so quickly.

They terrified him. They ruined him. They eroded away at whatever happiness he had left, the happiness he had built up as a Weasley. It was fading just as fast as it did when he was a demigod, in his first version of life.

But then he hung out with his friends, with his family. He hung out with Dominic and the Weasley's, with Harry and Hermione. They stopped the eroding for the time being, maybe added some of their own happiness. And it helped. But the nightmares always came back, the sadness never truly went away.

It was always there, waiting, watching.

And as the winter came with its ice and freezing temperatures, he tried to find ways to accept the fact that he had bad memories, that he had a bad past. He was a murderer, a killer, and he'd never tell anyone from the wizarding world that. He was a demigod, a protector of man. He told that to those who knew that he was simply a boy that controlled the shadows.

He was a soldier. He had fought in two wars, the first on the front lines. The second, he survived as a prisoner of war. Neither did he hate himself for winning. Both he felt guilty for those he hurt and killed.

Bryce Lawrence. Octavian. Leo. Bianca? It was he who caused her to join the Hunters, in the end. She was getting away from her responsibilities, which were him and his young mind. She was getting away from him. And for it, she died.

But Christmas break came, the snow fell, life went on. The dead stayed dead and gone, the Underworld kept filling up, the living kept moving on. It wasn't long before Nico found himself with Ron and his friends, in the Great Hall with Hagrid nearby.

"How many days you got left until yer holidays?" Hagrid asked.

"Just one," Hermione replied. "And that reminds me. Harry, Nico, Ron, we've got half an hour until lunch. We should be in the library."

"Oh yeah, you're right." Ron looked over from where his eyes had wandered off to.

"The library?" Hagrid asked. "Just before the holidays? Bit keen, aren't yeh?"

"Oh, we're not working," Harry told him brightly, causing Nico to sigh at his ignorance. Did he have to go telling everyone what they were up to? "Ever since you mentioned Nicolas Flamel we've been trying to find out who he is."

"You what?" Hagrid looked shocked, though Nico couldn't believe that he had no idea where the little piece of information would lead the Golden Trio. Their first year at Hogwarts was only halfway done, and they already had some secrets to uncover. "Listen here, I've told yeh, drop it. It's nothing to you what the dog's guarding."

"We just want to know who Nicolas Flamel is, that's all," said Hermione.

"Unless you'd like to tell us and save us the trouble?" Harry added. "We must've been through hundreds of books already and we can't find him anywhere - just give us a hint - I know I've read his name somewhere."

"You read?" Nico asked. Harry didn't respond, his eyes on Hagrid.

"I'm sayin' nothin," said Hagrid flatly.

"He's not going to tell you." Nico finally stated, grabbing Ron's arm. "Come on, back to the library it is."

And so they went off, but Nico kept his eyes on the people around him. He had been through enough to know that something suspicious was going on. It wasn't just an innocent storage situation going on. Whatever that dog was guarding, it was something he was sure needed to stay in the right hands.