6969

Once upon a time, in the center of the universe, beheld a glorious sphere of life, holding billions of intelligent life forms called Human. Out all of these unique, useless beings, exist two amazing heroes who were destined to save the future from itself! Their names were the magnificent sex magnet, Danny Sexbang, and the cunning murderous, Ninja Brian. They lived out their lives, chilling, saving the world, and making love. Even though they were so great and should be aware of their awesomeness, they had no idea that they would be spending their Saturday saving the future. It all started with Danny dabbling with some spare parts he found lying around. The next thing he knew, he cracked time travel. He looked over at Ninja Brian, with his sexy, oil covered face and conquering jew fro.

"Hey, uh, Ninja Brian, I built a time machine spaceship, you... wanna go on it?" he asked. Ninja Brian looked up from his newspaper, looking Danny dead in the eye, saying nothing. "Yeah, okay, cool," Danny tossed him a helmet after he got changed into his sexy space spandex at light speed. He leaned on the ship's door frame as he watched Ninja Brian coldly enter. Danny smirked and strutted over to the front of the ship, sitting in one of the seats. "Alright, we've got everything we need, now it's just us, space, and this ninety pound tube of space lube," He looked around at the controls and scratched his back of his head. "So, how do I do this?" Brian just stared, slightly raising one eyebrow higher. "Oh, yeah, that's right, I built this," Danny laid back and pressed a big red button. The spaceship began to rise, drawing attention to it from the nearby houses. "Alright, what time should we travel to?" he thought for a second. "Ah, yes, the sexist year of all, 6969, of course," Because Danny was so smart and handsome, he placed in an autopilot since he knows how to plan ahead. All he had to do is press the button his keyboard that said 'uhn', (he also added in a sound effect). The spaceship entered the stratosphere before the speed increase abruptly. It nearly reached the speed of Brian's sick moves (which is faster than the speed of light). "So, Brian, what do you think we're going to see," Silence. "Well, I think it's going to be super hot and stuff, like, maybe you get laid twice as hard, you know?" Silence continues. "Maybe it's like a mega orgy, oh! And it's in an ocean of whipped cream!" Danny bounces in his seat as Brian stays still, just staring deadly. The silence gets awkward. "I'm bored, does this thing go any faster?" He started smashing all the buttons and messing with everything. Eventually the ship started flying way faster, pulling Danny out of his seat. Brian stayed still, as if he was made of stone. Danny popped back on to his feet, holding a keytar. He started jamming out, making the coolest jams this universe has ever known. Suddenly he noticed something outside the window, making him let go of the keytar, having it hang over his shoulders. "Is that a wormhole?" his face curled into a smile. Brian didn't say anything. "I'll take that as a yes," Danny placed down the keytar and slipped back into his seat. The sick wormhole shot them across the crazy big universe, which is like, way past the milky way. Suddenly, the ship came to a halt. Danny's racy jewfro bounced from the jolting stop as Ninja Brian's entire body pokerface lingered on. "I think we're here..." Danny leisurely pushed himself onto his feet. "Ninja Brian, open the bay doors." he turned to Brian, but he was already at the door. Danny chuckled heroically. "Alright, let's give this world a double team." He strutted the perfectly crafted door he made himself. He closed his eyes and crossed his fingers. "I bet it's a billion person orgy in an ocean of whipped cream!" he wished. The doors huffed open, steam elevated from the air. Once it had passed, a cold, lonely world was revealed. The sad skies were dark and street lights grievously glew. Tall, somber buildings erected from the desolate grounds, and monotonous robots watched the solitary citizens every waking movement. The empty rain filled the lonesome streets and covered the dying sun's light. "Wait, this place isn't sexy at all," Danny stepped down dismally onto the wet, troglodytic pavement. Ninja Brian appeared next to him, his frozen, lethal stare more concerned than usually. Danny observed the solemn area some more, noticing that some of the androids had tragic signs. "And this robot sign says that human touch has been outlawed..." The ship doors closed as he stepped forward into the sorrowful world. "I can't believe my eyes, but it's a world without sex." Everyone around them covered up as if to be the shy kid in the back of the class. "Everyone here just wears full length pants and loose fitting turtlenecks." People didn't interact much. They looked to be awkwardly backing away from every living entity they saw. "Men and women wave to each other from a respectable distance." Danny couldn't stand it. It was far too dreadful to be left alone. "Without the thrill of boning, what is life?" he questioned. His whole purpose was illegal here. He made up his mind. "We must speak to the Council of Dick Elders tonight!" he declared. Ninja Brian agreed telepathically because he can do that.