Fuck These Fake Smiles

im fine

_hi just wanna let you all know (even though this will get 2 views if I'm lucky) that if you get triggered or and good with coping at things including mental health problems or selfharm and that kinda stuff please don't read this....also I want to say that you are all loved and even though we are all different, its out differences that make us special and who we are, you are all so special and beautiful and I love you all so much and am always here if you eve wanna chat. Please keep in mind that the events in this story HAVE NOT happened to me unless I say so...I'm so so sorry if they have happened to you but I'm writing this to prove you're not alone...let's begin_

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"I'm fine" I sobbed as all my emotions I keep bottled up flood out. "I'm fine just go" I said again trying not to show that I was breaking down on the floor shaking like...like I don't even know someone who wants to die...well that's what I am, fitting isn't it?..."I can't keep doing this" I say under my breath, not realising the door was beginning to open. "No!" I yelled jumping onto my bed under a blanket away from him. "I told you to go...I'm fine!" I whimpered trying to show how strong and OK I was...he knew I wasn't...

"Look, I know you and I know you're not OK" his words echoed around my head...I looked out from my blanket my eyes filled with tears "i'm scared" I said plainly, knowing he wouldn't realise how much it took for me to say it. "I'm so so scared"

"Of what?" He asked stroking my hair as he spoke...obviously trying to make me feel safer...it was working. I took a deep breath and looked him in the eye "everything" I whispered...embarrassed at how easily I gave in to telling him.

He pulled me in to a hug still stroking my hair and whispered "It will be OK" in my ear. I relaxed a bit knowing he accepted my sadness...depression I don't know I don't want to tell my parents or get diagnosed properly...I'll get attention then...I don't want people feeling sorry for me. I breathed out deeply shaking in his arms tears silently flowing down my cheeks and onto his shirt...but he didn't mind. He suddenly pulled out of the hug and grasped my shoulders looking dead into my eyes "What...is everything OK?" I said quickly no longer feeling safe...he took a deep breath and spoke, my heart racing as he said "just know that I know you're not OK...in know his much pain you're in...but just know..." he praised for breath "just know had I love you so so so much and I want you to know that your safe and I will be with you any time, any where when you need me...do you understand?" He said not almost fiercely but not in a menacing way...I nodded and he once again pulled he in close and kissed me on the forhead.

" I love you too" I chocked realising more tears were flooding down my pale face...not from sadness but from relief that I had someone who was there for me when I needed them.

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Hi snowflakes (yep thats your name...bc i want snow) I how you're enjoying it...it started kinda fluffy but it will get more emotional and the romance will still be there (no smut only fluff though) so please like, vote and comment (also sorry about my trash spelling...even autocorrect can't fix me lel) xxx