Stuck In the Crossfire

I first met Charlie when I was 16. He was 24 and the definition of a grade A bad boy.

I was working at a little local store on a summer Wednesday afternoon, using sharpies to make a poster for our handmade goat cheeses. I brushed my greasy bangs out of my face and caught a whiff of my own B.O. I wanted to hide in a corner so no one would see that my alarm clock failed me that morning.

I was in no mood to flirt or be flirted with. Normally, that wouldn't have been a problem. The only people that came into my store were locals that have known me since I was a baby.

Then, I heard the bell chime. Without looking up, I said my normal line when anyone walks in, "Hi, welcome in, How is it going?" I looked up when I didn't recognize the voice that answered back.

"Hello, beautiful. I was wondering if you could help me. I'm a bit lost." There he was. Standing in all of his perfection. He came in, alone. He wore a leather jacket, tight black skinny jeans, and dark sunglasses. His black hair stuck out of his head maybe 2 inches with the help of some poorly applied gel.

My jaw dropped for two reasons. One, did I mention he was perfect? Two, he was new. I haven't seen a new person in town since I was 8.

I helped him find some groceries he needed for his new place. He told me his life story about how he grew up in California and got tired of city life so he picked a spot on the map and started driving. He intrigued me in so many ways.

"I just needed more freedom. I was so tied down by my past demons. I wanted to start fresh." I felt that he could understand me. I hated this town for those same reasons. I wanted to be free.

When he asked me for my phone number, I gave it to him without hesitation. He became the twelfth name in my contact list.

He texted me 10 minutes after he left the store and asked me if I wanted to grab coffee with him after my shift was over at 4. I waited 10 more minutes to text back, so I didn't seem too eager. Ultimately, I said yes, we got coffee in my favorite cafe, and I showed him around our little town. We walked past parks and told each other stories. He was sweet and interested in me. I liked the kind of attention he gave me.

Every few minutes, he would brush my hair out of my face. "You have the most amazing eyes." His smile made my stomach flutter and his touch gave me goosebumps.

For those 4 hours, I got to see what it was like to be free. He looked at me like he saw a shimmer of light behind my gross exterior. Every boy, I had ever dated saw me as the girl from their 1st birthday party. Nothing to figure out because they thought they knew me. Charlie wanted to get to know me for who I thought I was, not the image built for me.

One date turned into two which then turned into a relationship like I had never known. He was an adult. He had his own apartment where I slept almost every night. Of course, I had to lie to my parents. That wasn't hard considering my dad passed out drunk by 8 p.m. every night and my mom encouraged me to be somewhere else to avoid his constant state of belligerence.

When he first invited me to sleep over, I was nervous. I didn't want him to see me as a child, so I took a deep breath and kept my sweaty palms in my pockets. His apartment was about the size of the ground floor of my house. His bed was the only thing to sit on but the "living room" was the same as the bedroom so we could still watch tv comfortably.

After I got settled into my seat at the foot of the bed, he changed into his comfortable clothes 2 feet from me. I tried to stare straight ahead, but when someone with chiseled features gives me a sneak peek, I can't help but glance over at least once.