Without You ✓

My girlfriend

“Hey Ai-yeon why did you run earlier when you saw the new guy? What a his name Jeon Jung...Jung-” Jang-Mi stammers.

“Jungkook,” I say finding it painful that she can’t say his name.

“Yeah, why did you run when he started coming towards us? Do you know him?” She asks. I fidget. I go to speak before...

“Know who?” Tae asks joining the conversation.

“The new boy Jungkook,” Seulgi smiles. “She ran away from him.”

“I didn’t run away from him,” I say emphasising the ‘him’. “I was running so I could meet up with Ru-Ri.” We reach the gate when they finally accept what I said. Seulgi, Jang-Mi and Nu-yu start to walk home leaving me alone with Tae.

We stand next to each, both our backs against the metal gates but I face in one direction and he in the other. I couldn’t even smile at him. We used to chat excessively before getting picked up or leaving, now I can’t even bare to look at him. I hear his mouth open. I freeze in my spot. He breathes out and I start to move again. He puts his hand on my shoulder.

“Ai-yeon,” he says quietly. “Can I talk to you?” I gulp and nod still refusing to look at him. “I want to apologise. I didn’t mean to end things.” I turn around and open my mouth but no words can come out. “I still love you Ai-yeon but I said I couldn’t stay with you because I felt so guilty.”

“What about?” I ask.

“I felt so guilty because,” he freezes and puts his face in his hands. “Because I cheated on you.” He says into his hands.

“You what?” I ask not being able to believe my ears.

“It was an accident, I got drunk and I... I... I starting making out with this girl. I didn’t even know her,” he stammers every word clearly absolutely terrified of my reaction.

“Is this why you were asking me about why I was round my friend house? Did you think if I had had sex with someone it would nullify what you did?” I say angrily.

“I didn’t have sex with her,” he yells, starting to tear up. “I promise you I only asked so you wouldn’t hurt yourself.” I feel water running down my cheeks. “I would have explain everything when I first told you, but ran away before I could.” I am speechless. “I don’t want to end it with you Ai-yeon. Please just think about forgiving me.”

Suddenly, a hand grabs mine. I flinch, not knowing who it was. Tae looks up; I can see both anger and shock racing around his mind.

“Shut up,” the voice says. I recognise it instantly. “You’re making her cry you dickhead.” I breathe in his familiar scent of cigarettes. He pushes his glasses up his nose.

“This isn’t your business,” Tae snaps. Jungkook starts to walk away, holding my hand. “Ai-yeon please just think about it.” Tae calls. I hear him sniffing away behind me.

Jungkook brings me into an alleywag around the side of the school where we could see no students around. He places one arm either side of me and leans in. He kisses and I instinctively kiss back. It only lasts a few moments.

It’s like when me and Tae first kissed.

“Are you okay now?” He asks still trapping me between him and the wall.

“Yeah,” I mumble although it’s really not okay. Tae’s confession has made my mind go all over the place. He breaks up with me then a few days later he wants me back. He told me he loves me, he’s never done that before.

Do I love Tae too?

I can’t focus. I don’t want to talk about Tae right now. I decide I must change the conversation topic.