< one point seven >
I woke up with swollen eyes with two reasons:
1. I cried myself to sleep
2. I can't sleep.
It took me hours to sleep—I overthought
I guess falling in love with him was my wrong move.
Everything that fell were broken.
My thoughts were stopped when I heard someone's sobbing.
I saw my man sobbing himself beside me
I want to hold him.
I want to say that everything's alright.
I want to shower him with kisses.
I want him.
But I can't.
It wasn't enough to call him mine.
"Y-yoongi?" I called
As much as I hate pretending to be strong, one of us should be.
He quickly put his gaze upon my face.
His eyes were swollen because of crying
His nose were pinkish
It was really him.
I wasn't hallucinating
"A-areum, I'm sorry, I-"
"Shh, it happened already, Yoongi. There's nothing we can do to change it" I smiled
I smiled for I don't want to blame himself more.
I'd be hurt more once I see him crying and blaming himself again.
Call me stupid, but I just can't be mad at him
Remember? I love him.
He sat up and faced me.
"No. I deserve to be hurt. You don't deserve this. You don't deserve me. You—"
"How many times do I tell you, that it's fine?" I asked
"You've said that every time but you're actually not, you're pretty good at pretending.." He bowed his head as he catch his tears
"You should hurt me, I should receive slaps, shouts, from you" He held my hand as he attempt to slap himself
"Yoongi..." My vision became blurry as my tears started to build
"No! Slap me! I deserve this, Areum! I deserve this!—"
"I fucking can't! Can you understand that!?"
"Then tell me why" He insisted
"I-I-"
"You what?" He stared at my eyes thoroughly
"I-I already love you! Can't you see?!? I fucking love you, Yoongi. I can't hurt you like that, b-because I care for you. I don't want to be hurt. It's better if I'm the one's who's hurt" I confessed
"I-"
"I know you still love her. I know the thing about you and Somi. The boys knew that we're in this fake relationship, they knew and I knew that this deep hole can ruin me, well, yeah. Well I still chose it. I also knew that you can't love someone like me. You're s-still trapped. I can see that."
"N-n—"
"Don't pity on me, Min Yoongi" I said
"Y—"
"I think, after this outing, definitely I'll find some vacant apartment—"
"NO!" He said
"What? So you can use me again huh?" I asked
"I used to use you, Areum" He said
"Now I can't imagine my days without you...You've been there when I was drown in love with her. You've been with me with months. I liked you, Areum"
"You what?—"
"I love you, Kang Areum"
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thank you for 200+ reads, ily'all uwu, t-that was fast
