Tap Tap

Pt.2

'Tap Tap' was supposed to be a one shot only. I got so many requests for a part two that I just had to. I was immensely helped by KiriBaku_luver with the first part but the second part is just as much her creation, as it is mine. We played off each other's writing the entire process. She is a partnership made in heaven! She is my otp (🧡thank you kirishimaunbreakable), a precious friend, and a fantastic writer! She is working on her own first story posting so look out for that! I'm so grateful to have met you!

I can't find the artist for this chapter art, if anyone knows who the artist is, please let me know so that I can credit them!

'tap tap'

'tap tap'

The way he held me, sobbing into my limp body, broke my heart, well, if I still had one that is.

I don't feel any physical pain but the mental, and emotional pain is more than I ever felt in my life with no way of expressing it. Normally I could blow shit up, scream, and cry, not that I would be caught dead crying, oh, right, awkward.

I've spent months watching him suffer day in day out. He's plagued by nightmares when he does manage to sleep. Eijiro's face contorted in agony, sweat seeping through every pore. His tossing and turning wake him with a jolt. I badly wish I could wrap my arms around him.

I attempt to touch him daily, I miss the feeling of his smooth skin as I caress his cheek. I long for his slightly chapped lips molding into mine.

I have to settle for watching the hell that I see. A hell made specifically for me.

Eijiro's sadness.

Even if I could leave, roam the earth like this, the thought was never a possibility for me. I'll wait for him, however long it takes. Running his fingers through his dark roots, hair down, I instinctively reached out to replace his hand with mine. Those silky tresses beckoning me to massage my way through his roots, his head resting on my shoulder.

My hand passed right through him. Again.

How many times has this been? I've lost count hundreds of times before.

*tap tap*

I look up from my depression. Ei is in the hallway now, surely heading to our, no, his too big, lonely bed. It's felt like decades since I've heard it. Our Morse code. In reality, it's likely only been months.

*tap tap*

Being dead, I have no mass but I have never felt more light than when he finally started to 'tap' again.

Ei looks calmer than I've seen him since my passing, thank fucking God! The corners of his mouth turn up, his eyes clearing and soften at the sound. It's bittersweet to see. It's not his usual grin but he isn't frowning anymore at the very least. I watch him settle in for bed going through the motions. I lay next to him like I normally do watch over him while he sleeps. A thought came to me, maybe my spirit can enter his dreams. It's worth a try.

'tap tap'

He 'taps' his bedside table one last time before closing his eyes. The tiny upturn in the corner of his mouth from his 'taps' dissipates, to my dismay.

*****

It's so dark in here.

The vibrant personality that Ei has, no, had, isn't in his dream world anymore. This is what my death did to him on the inside. 

Dark, heavy, ominous...

No.

He's not like this.

His smile brightens any room, kind words directed at anyone and everyone. 

When he laughs it's obnoxiously loud like he puts all his laughter for the day into it, even I, snort in amusement.