The Friend Zone Files

File 001: I love you... classmate?

Now Playing: I Never Told You – Colbie Caillat

 

 

I’m a first year engineering student. I’m still healing from a broken heart. I can’t wait to enter my first year because I want to distract myself and to forget my hurtful memories after I graduated high school.

“Good morning class. I will be your professor…” Our first professor for the day briefed us. I’m excited to meet my new classmates but I’m the shy type so I just wait for them to approach me.  Of course some of our professors made us introduce ourselves in front of the class. It feels like I’m back to being a high school student.

I’m hanging out on a covered walkway when someone bumped my shoulder. “Hey, ikaw si Nikki diba?” I nod. Who’s this again? I didn’t catch his name when he introduced himself. “I’m Josh.” He said offering his hand. I hesitated for a second. Jeez, does he know how cute he is?

“Bakit mag-isa ka dito?” He asked again. “Eh kasi hindi ako dalawa?” I joked. I know, I know it’s corny but I just wanted to see his dimples again. “Yun oh! Sabi ko nga eh. Hahaha.”

His laughter is like music to my ears. I felt my heart going thump thump thump.  There are butterflies on my stomach. Oh no! I don’t like these signs. I looked away to hide my emotions. Class has just begun and now I’m having a crush. Not good.

“Oh san ka pupunta?” he asked me when I stood up. “Uhm.. ano..” he put his two hands on his face like Ninoy on the 500 peso bill. “Ayaw mo ata akong kausap eh.” He said looking really sad. “No. I was just.. stretching. Hoping to grow an inch.” I said casually. He laughed again.

“Ang sarap mo palang kasama eh.”

I never had much sleep because of that statement. I keep on tossing and turning all night long. I’ve been thinking about him for hours. Each and every day we became much closer. Sometimes our classmates would just tease us. I don’t want to be too obvious so I talked to other boys too. But it really felt different talking to him.

We’re on the laboratory doing our Chemistry experiment. I visited kuya Gelo’s group because I’m getting bored sitting on our table. Our group has just finished doing the experiment. I checked their work and helped listing the results because they are so lazy.

Kuya Gelo and I were teasing each other when he suddenly said, “Napakasweet nitong si Nikki. Kung wala lang akong girlfriend niligawan na kita.” He said it so loud that half of our classmateds heard it. They all started to tease me. I sneak a glance at Josh to see if he heard it but he was already staring at me.

Ever since that incident I tried to distance myself from him but kuya Gelo adviced I shouldn’t do that because it will be too obvious. “Kasalanan mo to eh.” I said and I punched him lightly on the arm. “You should thank me pa nga eh. I’m doing you a favor. Boto ako sa loveteam niyo. Bagay kayo eh.”

“Bagay sino?” Asked a familiar voice. I froze from my seat. Kuya Gelo just winked at me and stood up. “Bagay kayo.” He then pushed me to Josh and run away.

“Uhm.. don’t mind him. He’s..” I used my index finger to make small circle on the right side of my head. 5 minutes of awkward silence passed. I’m afraid to start a conversation and I don’t know why. 

“Nikki can I ask you something?” he said, his eyes straight ahead. “Sure.” I answered while kicking the dried leaves on the ground.

“Meron kasi akong nagugustuhan pero hindi ko alam kung gusto niya rin ako.” I swallowed hard. My heart started to beat so fast. “Well, I think the obvious answer is to tell her.”

“You think so?” He asked looking at me. “Yeah.”

He shifted his body towards me and our knees are touching now. I can’t breathe. Jeez.

“I like you.” He said without blinking. I almost fall off my seat but I remained motionless. I just stared at him for three minutes. All I can hear is my heart beating so loud. I can feel my palms sweating.

He touched his nape and smiled a gesture of uneasiness. “Ganun ba dapat?” I did the thumbs up sign.

I can’t sleep because of that. I keep on tossing and turning all night. Is it me or not me? Why does he have to keep me hanging? Argh. I hate this kind of feeling.

The next day my classmates acted strange. I kept on asking kuya Gelo but he simply shakes hi head. I wanted to ask Josh but I decided not to. Jessica approached me at lunch and hugged me. I was surprised that I almost choked on the sandwich I’m eating. She and I weren’t that much close but sometimes we talk about random things. You can say that were friends but not that close.

“Guess what?” She asked giddily. “What?”

“Josh confessed to me! He said he likes me then bam! All I know is he’s my boyfriend now.” She’s too happy to notice my expression. It hit me hard. That’s why everybody is acting so strange this morning. They all know about Jessica and Josh but nobody had the guts to tell me. I feel betrayed and ashamed. I’m so ashamed for even thinking that I’m the one who Josh likes.

“Well… congratulations.” I said half-heartedly. I stood up and turned because I can’t face her anymore. Five more minutes and I’m sure I’ll make a fool of myself. The most hateful thing is I can’t blame her. There’s no one to blame but myself.

“Nikki.” I turned. He hugged me. I can feel it. The tears. The pain. “Thank you.” I just nod.

“You did good.” I said and I left.

That experience taught me how to be strong. It’s not so bad after you realize that there’s still life after being hurt.

Next up: File 002 Teddy Bear

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