The girl with the broken skateboard

chapter 12 {never said goodbye}

grace pov (this hole chapter is gonna be in grace's pov)

i opend the heavy schooldoors. ''stalker'' i heard someone say. true. there right. im a stalker. normaly it wouldn't hurt me but it did. ''slut'' ''weirdo'' ''waist of air'' ''loser'' ''whore'' ''bitch'' ther all right. ''she should just kill herself'' i walked passed the people and went to my locker. the lipstickcase in the back of my locker made me small. it had one of my blades in it. for emergansies. ''hey grace'' i turned around. ''hey ava'' i didn't bother to put on a fake smile knowing she wouldn't believe me anyway. ''how are ya feeling?'' ''like crap. and seeing your outfit your not feeling that much better.'' she was waring an oversized sweather and some leggings and a pair of short uggs. ''yeah'' she looked at the ground. i saw the sadnes in her eyes. how does she even do this. i mean stand here. she lost her best friend. we all did. 

class was the same as always. people calling me names sometimes even try to trip me. i only had one class with ava, thomas and marc so they didn't nodes. i walked into the cafiteria and to our table. im the first one there like always i heard alot of names but only one cought my ear. ''i can't believe i ever dated an ugly slut like her. ow well i only did it to get with her.'' my heart sank to my knees. i recognized the voice. sam. we dated a view monthes ago. we eventuly broke up because he was cheating on me. i gave him everything. litterly. if you understand what i mean. he is one of the reasons i started cutting. my heart was broken. and so is my mind. i only have my body left. partly.

i pulled up a small part of my sleeve. the broken skin onder the sweater was red and filled with white lines. i traced the lines with my finger. ''HEY EVERYBODY THE SLUT CUTS HERSELF'' i heard a voice behind me yell. i turned around. sam. i pulled my sleeve down. ''i always know you where a slut but i never thought you where an emo.'' his words broke my heart or what was left of it. ''shut up sam'' i almost wispered. ''what was that?'' ''I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP'' the hole cafiteria went silance. ''so the slut talks'' i closed my eyes and took a deep breath. i opend my eyes. my anger started to grow as he had an ugly smirk on his face. ''what are you scared of bitch'' come on grace do it. you know you want to. he looked around the cafiteria with a satisfide smile on his face. without another thought i punched him in the jaw. he looked shocked and taken back. just like everybode else. 

ava, thomas and marc walked into the cafiteria. thank god. ''SAM what the fuck are you doing leave grace the fuck alone.'' ava yelled. he mutted something and walked away.  ''thanks ava'' she smiled. this gotta end. it all needs to end. ''im gonna go to the bathroom.'' i got my bag and walked to my locker to grab my ''lipstick'' and went to the bathrooms. i checked all the stalls. no one. i sat down on the ground in a stall. i slowly slid the shiny razor blade on my wrist. they don't need me. nobody needs me. 

''whore'' ''ugly'' ''slut'' ''fat'' ''loser'' ''stalker'' ''weido'' all the words chase me in my head as i walk out of the school to my house. maybe it was suppose to be  like this. i opend the frontdoor to find my mom and dad fighting over something. again. i run upstairs and got a pen and paper. i wrote it. my goodbye. my last thoughts. to the people i love. i put it on my bed and walked into the bathroom. i locked to door and grabed my special box. the one under the sink. as i opend it the sight of the shiny metal razors made me smile. ''im gonna be there soon morgan and derek'' derek was my brother. he died last year in a carcrash. i miss him. but ill be with him soon. i grabbed my favorite blade and brought it to my wrist.

i was sitting on the floor in the bathroom. my head was pounding. my eyes made there way around the room and landed on a orange bottle of sleeping pills. i looked down. the silver blade pressed againsed my wrist. the red blood on the edge of falling to the ground. i looked at the ceeling. this could all be over. the door seemed miles away. it was only about 1.5 meters but it looked like it was far away. the muffled sound of my parents fighting downstairs slowly faded away. i tried to get up but i couldn't feel my legs. i crawled to the open pill bottle. slowly pouring them in my hand. ''one for morgan. one for mom. one for dad. one for thomas. one for marc. one for ava. one for derek'' i said out loud. the sound of my own voice didn't feel like my voice anymore. it felt like it belonged to someone else. i took a deep breath and raised my hand to my mouth and slowly swallowing them. one by one. the room started spinning. ''there is no one who cared.'' was the last thing i said before everything turned black.

hii watpanda's 

im still kinda in shock about this chapter myself. so yeah. this might be triggering to some people and if it is please kik me. okay? okay. no really you should. nobody deserves this and it really breaks my heart that people think no one cares. because it may sounds cheesy but i care. alot acctualy. nobody deserves to die or even feel the need to take there own life. its not. i love you guys alot and thanks for reading. 

i hope you have an beautiful day where ever you are.

xx-wannabeyoutuber

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