Yellow toy | vkook

•Rain drops•

The thunder storm outside blended well with my dream that night, I once again stood in that street while raining It was dark and ununderstandable, that unknown boy kept on screaming my name over and over again, he tried to reach out to my hand, he was begging me to help him, to save him, his voice echoed in the vast space with such a sad tone, like one of those uncompleted lullabies, I looked at his blurry face and turned my back and left.

I woke up from that nightmare all sweating and trembeling with the same questions that haunted me since forever, who's that unknown boy and why can't I recognize his face and for the love of the god why dont I reach out to his hand.

I stood up and went to open the window, the sky was falling, partly, she was letting go of the tiny pieces that she doesn't need anymore, she's abandoning those dropes of the rain, just like me.

In fact I've never felt that Im needed or valued anywhere, not even to my two own parents, "homeless" was what I and society along with me called myself, and I don't care much. In fact I learned how to survive through all those rushing emotions of confusion, fear and sadness whenever people looked me in the eyes. "I can explain" was my response whenever they seem to notice the scars on my body, the ones I gained for no god damn clear reason, I was punched and kicked just for being me, and that sucked.

The wind touched my face in a way of comfort, it was fresh and soft and it made me for a second feel like Im free from life.

Ironically enough, I valued and tresored every little moment and detail, but not my past, and not that unknown boy. And I don't seem to know why any sooner.

I stood still waiting for nothing, I just hated going back to bed after nightmares, because Im aware that Im gonna suffer from more and Im not mentally prepared for that.

I prefered listening to the silence being damaged by the symphony of the rain, It was calming and dreamy.

So many hours has passed, and by seeing the sun rising I realised that it's time for me to go.

I've put on my black sweater, blue ripped jeans and my used Timberland's Boots and headed to work.

It was at a small store near my appartement where I helped an old man selling instruments, It has a special smell that I can not indentify, but It made me feel home, because I loved music and I loved how people come in to the store to appreciate those masterpieces of instruments.

In the background a soft calming music was playing from somewhere, I've never bothered to ask from where exactly, but it always almost made me forget about the night and it lonliness.

It was a mix between a piano and a saxophone, a very delicate mix that always had me shutting my eyes down and the world around me too, to travel to my magic shop where I do belong. Until some costumers interrupt me, I don't get mad though, they are here for a reason and I do value this reason.

This time it was an old women in her 50's that came to me and asked

"-jung jungkook ? Is that you ?".

I was about to give her the guidance she needs on what instrument she's asking me about until I realised what she actually said.

"-exuse me?". I said with a confused expression.

"-are you that little jung jungkook that used to hide in my store while playing hide and seek with his friends ?". She said with a wide warm smile.

At this point I couldn't exactly tell what's happening until my eyes crossed a yellow little toy hanging from her hand bag.

"-I guess Im just hallucinating Im sorry young man". She said with a light giggle and looked away preparing her body to leave.

"Y-yes It is me". I muttered.

She turned to face me again and then looked at me closely this time and clapped her hands out of joy, just like the old days that flashed into my memory out of nowhere, the trigger is what it called.

Time freezed for a second as my mind traveled to an unidentified world where I looked much younger and maybe .. happier, I was looking into a mirror fixing my hair as a way of distraction from my fear.

Waiting for things that we are expecting to get hurt from is way more painful and nerve wrecking than those things themselves.

the amount of time we spend preparing ourselves mentally to face reality is way more turtoring and tiring than the reality itself.

I was humming some random melodies too, as my eyes are fixed on the mirror, my ears and mouth should be busy as well, far from reality as possible as I could.

Until I heard the door being wide open and my mom's voice yelling my name continuously, with each yell I can tell that my punishment is getting harder.

What was my mistake ? What are my sins ? What am I being hated for ? The sad truth is, my existence.

I gathered my courage and headed down stairs, with every step my mind was screaming at me to run away, but my feet doesn't obey for god knows why.

I stood facing my raging mom and her hands preparing to slap my face so I shut my eyes down, I couldn't recall what I thought about in that moment or what did I exactly imagined but It made me feel at ease with a light smile forming on my mouth.

I waited for several seconds until I felt my body floating in the air, I was carried by something that smelled like cherries.

It was her, miss Juliette that I used to hide in her small store away from my family.

She was kind of my guardian angel at this point and she had the power to convince my parents to leave me alone and that I did no wrong.

I hugged her tight as she was talking to my mom for a while, then she left and before closing the door she said to me "dont you dare come home tonight".

I wasn't that affected by her words in comparison of me being touched by miss juliette's gesture that I cried in her arms for hours.

I came back to reality and hugged her even tighter recalling all these beautiful days I've spent with her .... in the countryside !

That's right ! It was the countryside, all of that happened in the countryside.

I had my eyes wide open when I realised that with cold sweat forming around my body.

She broke the hug and looked at me with a warm look the same one that made me feel safe before, and I don't think it would ever stop having this effect on me.

"-Do you still have the toy I've made you that night jungkook ?". She asked

I freezed for a bit then muttered with a pout "-No I've lost it Im so sorry..".

She smiled again and replied
"-that is alright honey, it is a good opportunity for you to pay me a visit we will make plenty of them and one espicially for you for sure".

My face lighted up when I heared that I can go there again, that I can make those little toys with her once more and for sure, smelling the candy-like entrance of the store. Details, details matter.

"-tuesday.." I said hesitantly.

"-Tuesday.". She confirmed then waved me goodbye.

When I went to sleep that night, the unknown boy in my dreams seemed happy for the first time, I could hear his giggles, maybe he was happy for me taking such a decision.