my games

chapter 1

          The morning sun is bairly risen when I move from my spot high in branches of an old pine tree. I like to come early to watch it. To try and hold on to what beauty there still is in the world.
          When I reach the ground I head a deeper into the woods until I reach the newly erected electrified fence that marks the edge of my home district. It's only been up for about a year but I don't know if I'll ever fully get use to it. I don't know if I'll ever get use to any of it.
          I locate the hollow tree where I store my two bows and sheith of arrows. I was lucky enough to have been an involved in archery before they separated the country. As soon as things began to get noticeably bad and homes were being ransacked by police I hid my weapons in he woods and thankfully no one ever found them.
          Luckily, because my mother was a teacher she wasn't one of the unlucky majority to be displaced from their jobs to work in the factories. However, her pay is just is no better. That's why I, like a few other nature savvy people in my district, hunt and gather most of our food. That way the pay my mother receives can go to things like clothes and medicine when needed.
          My mind is preoccupied though and I have trouble sitting still long enough today to wait for big game. I finally have the luck to find a rabbit and as I release the string and my arrow finds its target I feel fear course through me. Just a month ago everyone in the districts television turned on without warning and called us all to the screen.
          On.the television was our president. He began with saying how prosperous his city has become since he segregated the destructive lower class citizens from the high class. He then explained that due to popular demand in the new capitol city of America, The Hunger Games would no longer just be a book but become a reality. We had a month to become a customed to this and that there would be no negotiations. Then he gave some brief rules like the age range being from 11-25 rather than 12-18 like the books had been. And that even though it was the first year your age woukd still dictate how many times your name would be in the bowl.
         The reaping is tomorrow but I push the thought out of my head and quickly put the rabbit in my game bag. I can't focus and I decide this will have to be enough for today, we still have some wild turkey left from yesterday so we should be alright.
          When I reach home everyone is still asleep. I gut and skin the rabbit and then begin to make some kind of stew out of it and some wild onions.
         "Taria?" I hear my little sisters shakey voice from behind me. I turn and its clear what's on her mind.
          "Katie, you can't think about it right now, there's nothing we can do. Your only 12 your name will only be in there twice," I say as I turn back to the stew.
          "That doesn't mean anything and you know it," she says with tears in her eyes. She comes to stand next to me. I sigh but don't look at her, I can't let myself get scared. "Plus, you know id volunteer for you anyway," I add. Somehow I don't think this helps as I hear a sob escape her throat.
          "Taria this isn't fair," she wails. I quickly turn and hug her.
          "Shhh," I say, "we still have one more day, the reapings aren't until two tomorrow. Go check on mom for me, I'm sure she's getting upset too." She nods and wipes her eyes before heading back upstairs.
           When I'm fairly sure the meat in the stew is cooked all the way through I take it off the heat. As I'm covering the pot I hear my father stirring from where he sleeps in the sitting room. I wince and hope I can get up to my room before he wakes up for good. But just as I'm rounding the corner to tiptoe up the stairs he's standing in front of me.
          "Good morning Taria," he sneers. I ignore him and try to get past him but he won't budge. "Aren't you gonna say good morning to your father?" He adds.
          "Goodmorning, please don't eat all the stew I just cooked, its for dinner tonight," I say sternly.
          "Don't take that tone with me missy, I'll eat whatever I chose to. What gives you the right to tell me what to do?" He says glaring at me.
          "Well maybe if you got a damned job rather than lounging around all day waiting for ME to bring home food I wouldn't mind as much!" I snap. I receive a punch to the jaw for that. But I don't show how much it hurt.
          "Do. Not. Tell. Me. What. To. Do," he angrily whispers at me. "You aren't Katniss sweetie so stop trying so hard to be impressive." That's what ends up hurting the most. The dismissive words, the complete disregard for the fact that if I didn't get out meals most every day we'd have starved to death by now.
          He laughs at me but steps out of my way. I silently climb the stairs. I hear my sister talking to my mother from her room but I walk straight to mine. I wish I had some ice for my jaw.
          My father is and always has been a low life. When he was fired from the job he had before we were separated into districts he was expected to find a job in the factories or the coal mines like everyone else who wasn't a teacher, healer, or merchant of some kind. He of course did not, claiming my mother made enough money and he didn't have to work anymore.
          He started hitting us when he realized the Capitol Police Officers didn't really give a damn about our safety.
          I lift a lose floor board in my room and take out the one throwing knife I was able to fit in a hiding place before the police raided our homes for illegal items like weapons, certain books, technology and music. I twist the blade in my hand. Its cold to the touch and I rest the flat part on my swollen jaw until my skin heats it up.
          Today is no doubt going to be long. I lie on my bed for what feels like hours just with my eyes closed. Im starving and for fun i try to remember good food. Its harder than I want it to be. Its been so many years since we've had enough to eat. Even before we were separated into districts President Wessly and those in charge were working to take as much from what use to be the middle class as possible. They taxed everything and there was of course (when we still had control over our Television) the propaganda about how dangerous the poor people were.
          That's when rich folk in our area were told they had to leave to move to the Capitol City. That's when the fences went up and the police raids started. I was around 10 but I still knew things weren't good.
          I hear my door creak open and I open my eyes. Its my mother and she sits on the edge of my bed. Her eyes are red and puffy. Katie follows her in but doesn't say anything.
          "I'm not doing well, Taria," she says.
          "I know, mom, but there's nothing any of us can do about it," I say matter of factly.
           "I'm not strong enough to handle tomorrow," she says and begins to sob. I rub her back but can't think of words to say anymore. For years my mother has come to me to counsel her through her anxiety. She's never been mentally very strong but recently I've had trouble helping her.
          "Mom, we're all terrified about tomorrow, the whole district is," I say. But she won't listen to reason anymore. When she speaks she has an edge in it that scares me, it sounds truly like she might lose it for real this time.
         "I can't handle this! I can't handle this" she nearly screams, "I can't lose a child!" She repeats this over and over while I try to get her to stop. Katie begins to cry at the sight of our mother this way.
          "MOM! neither of us had even been chosen yet!" I shout over her babbled sobs. "Please get a hold of yourself! Dont you think I'm scared too!!" I beg. I hate when she gets this way because its upsetting and frustrating.
          After about an hour of this she stops repeating and sobbing and sits still with her hands on her face still unresponsive. At this point I lose my patience.
          "Mom, the reaping hasn't even happened yet! I'm here, Katie's here and WE are the ones with names in the bowls! Not you! I understand being scared! I'm fucking terrified! But you can't clock out and lose it before anything even happens!" I shout. After a minute of still not responding she finally stands up.
          "You use to be so understanding, Taria, I don't know what happened," she says still choaking on her words. And she walms out of my room.
          I sit there gaping as she leaves. I look at Katie who scurries over to hug me. I hug her back tightly. If I had anywhere to go id pack our things and take Katie somewhere else but we can't. I know my mother loves us, but her love is selfish, its about keeping her happy. She doesn't care much for our happiness.
          "Come on, im gonna teach you how to hunt," I say and poke Katie's nose. She giggles slightly and we rush down the stairs and into the beautiful summer day.
          The rest of the day if actually fun. Katie isn't very good with the bow at all but she manages to shoot a rabbit. I find all my arrows and just as the sun is setting we return home. Thankfully, My father is drunk and asleep on the couch. He did eat nearly all of my stew so I cook up Katie's rabbit and add it to it.
          My mother, Katie, and I all eat in silence and because we don't have electricity in the evenings we all head to bed.
          I wake up the next morning to find my sister curled up next to me. I must have slept in because the sun is already up. I look at my watch to find its already 10. Only four more hours until the reaping.
          I gently shake Katie awake and tell her we should eat breakfast. But even as I say it I know none of us (except my father) will have an appetite. Instead we wash up and take extra care to scrub off stuck on dirt. We do bathe regularly but when you spend so much time in the woods there isn't much you can do.
          We even wash our hair. Katie's hair is a beautiful shade of light ginger and when its washed its even more lovely.
          Once we are dressed, Katie in her nicest skirt and shirt and me in the only dress I own, a faded black thing with capped sleeves that goes to my knees, we meet my parents downstairs and begin the hour long walk to the center of the district.
          My mother is managing to keep her composure for now but I don't know how long she can keep it up. My father scoffs at my hair due. Ive braided my hair down my back.
          "Always trying to be like katniss I see." He laughs and pokes the bruise on my jaw hard, "maybe you'll wind up in tbe games like her too!" He says and Then nearly falls down laughing as his sick joke. I ignore it but a knot it growing in my stomach.
          When we reach the center of town Katie and I are herded off to an area where we sign in and then get shoved into a roped off area for eligible people. I keep Katie close to me, glad we aren't separated by age. Everything seems almost jumbled though. I guess this is the first ever games, in sure they'll get the hang of it some day. I sigh to myself.
          Once everyone files in a woman who resembles the Kardashians. Well an even more plastic version of the Kardashians that is steps up to the microphone.
          "Hello citizens of District twelves. My names is Penelope Vera and I will be your escort for this and every Hunger Games to come!" She projects enthusiastically. Her voice is whiny and high pitched. Its almost painful. I glance down at Katie and we giggle.
          "I'd like to be the first to wish you all a Happy Hunger Games! And as they say, may the odds be ever in your favor! Lets start with the ladies!"
Suddenly my heart is hammering in my chest as she crosses to the large glass bowl. 18 of those slips hold my name but there are so many others too I try to remind myself.
          I squeeze Katie's hand tightly as Penelope gets back to the microphone. She unfolds the paper and reads the name "Taria Mccandless".