when night comes (camren)

Fourteen part 1

Camila Cabello was fourteen years old and she knew that the bruises that her mom's boyfriend sometimes left were harder to hide than the words from her mother that scarred her insides every day. She knew she had one thousand, four hundred and thirty days left until she could finally escape her home town for good, she'd been counting down since the day she started freshman year three months ago. She knew that Lauren Jauregui was still her best friend, her only friend really, but she often worried that she probably wasn't hers. She knew she didn't love her boyfriend Austin, she wasn't even sure if she liked him all that much, because when they kissed her heart didn't race the way it did when she kissed Lauren at twelve years old. But what she wanted to be when she grew up? Camila still didn't know. All she knew was that that she didn't want to be alone because she knew her mother's boyfriend would be there.

Austin was eighteen and the first boy to ever show Camila any interest, although that didn't stop her from turning him down the first few times, he asked her out anyway. A relationship was probably the last thing she needed to add to her already very complex life right now. But as the school year continued and Lauren got increasingly busy with sports and her new friends, Camila finally gave in to the older boy's advances. She knew that probably wasn't a good enough reason to date somebody, but her world just seemed so dark right now and whilst this boy might not hold the answers, at least he'd hold her until it was light.

"I just don't like him Camila." Lauren groaned as the two girls walked home from the bus stop one day after school. It was becoming pretty apparent that even the mention of Austin's name was enough to set her best friend off. It wasn't the first time that she had expressed her dislike for the guy, which irritated Camila to no end. It wasn't like she was Ethan's number one fan either, but at least she didn't bite her friend's head off every time she dared to bring him up.

"You've met him once Laur."

Camila rolled her eyes. "I really don't get what your problem with him is."

"Well I have many. But there's the fact you're having sex with him for a start."

Camila stopped dead in her tracks, grabbing the other girl by the arm to pull her back to face her. "And what's that got to do with anything?" She snapped.

"I just think it's kind of strange that an eighteen, nearly nineteen-year-old guy would want to be with a freshman." Lauren shrugs. "He's graduated high school, he has a car and a job, why doesn't he just date someone his own age? It's literally illegal that he's sleeping with you, you know, that right?"

"And what, you're going to report it to the police are you, and what don't you think he would like someone like me because I'm a freshman?" Camila shot back.

"Obviously not, but I still don't think it's right and that was sent how I meant Camz I just think he would be with someone in his own age."

Camila sighs. She wants to tell Lauren that she's not sure if it's right either, because being intimate with Austin definitely doesn't feel right. She wants to tell her that she probably dislikes him just as much as she does, that everything he does drives her crazy in all the wrong ways.

She's wants to tell her that she's not sure why he's with her either, because she doesn't know why anyone would want to date her let alone an eighteen-year-old guy. But most of all she wants to tell Lauren that despite all of that, it's still nice to feel wanted for a change, because she's craved that feeling all her life. But Camila knows her friend wouldn't understand that, and she's glad she doesn't have to understand, she'd never want Lauren to have to feel that way.

"I think you're just jealous. I think that's the actual problem." Camila says instead, because deep down she knows that's probably the only logical reason for Lauren's strong dislike of her boyfriend. She doesn't like losing, she never has.