Saving the Sun

five: the lists

chapter five: the lists

☾ ☼ Sunny Wright

Monday, September 21st, 2017

THE FIRST THING I NOTICED WAS HIS DIMPLES.

           Owen didn't return, until the following Monday, directly after school. He sat across from me, strands of his dark brown hair everywhere, as he smirked down at my list, dimples visible, I tried not to stare too long, as I sit at the foot of my bed, clasping and unclasping my hand, feeling slightly vulnerable. I didn't know why I acted so awkward around him, maybe it was his natural awkwardness, that made things more awkward.

Owen was without a doubt awkward, he avoided eye contact with me for the most part, ran his hand through his hair more times than I could count and cleared his throat before the start of each sentence, and he had been here all of five minutes. Watching him awkwardly stumble for words made me want to laugh, if only to relieve the tension in the room.

"You...want to go to a high school football game before you die?" Owen snickers, eyes still on the list, I roll my eyes, blushing.

"Yeah, one last high school hoo-rah." I say with a shrug, my cheeks blushing again, I wasn't the type to participate in high school social events, now I was regretting it, I hadn't gone to any dances or any games, I was planning on waiting for the whole school spirit thing for college, but it didn't look like that would ever happen. I shove the thought deep into a box, before I began to spiral, and offer Owen an unbothered shrug.

"You want to lose your virginity?" He begins. "You're a virgin?" He was erupting in laughter now, I clench my jaw holding back my laugh, as I snatch my list out of his hand, if I'd known he was just gonna mock my list, I'd have never shown him. For someone who was so socially awkward, he was really mean and judging.

"Let's see your list, asshole,"I say looking down at my own list, it really didn't seem all that bad, not until Owen criticized it to no end.

My list contained fairly attainable actions, things that I wanted to do, things that I needed to do. I didn't know just how boring and unaccomplished my life was until I realized my days were numbered, there was so much I hadn't done, so many things I thought I had a lifetime to do, but I didn't. I had a number of months, if i was lucky, to make the most of it, and I would. I shove my negative thoughts in the overstuffed box in the darkest place in my brain, and look over my list.

1. Go to a high school football game
2. Go to a high school party
3. Do something worth remembering
4. Commit a SMALL crime
5. Lose my virginity
6. Paint 100 paintings
7. Go to a concert
8. Go skinny dipping
9. Drink EVERY milkshake Shake and Bake has to offer
10. Say 'yes' for an entire day
11. Go camping and stargaze
12. Do something nice for my mom
13.Leave something behind for my loved ones

"Well let's see yours."

Owen groans, reaching in the pocket of his jean jacket, retrieving a crumpled piece of paper, he straightens it out, best he can, handing it over.

1. Get a tattoo
2. Ask Josie out
3. Eat at a fancy restaurant
4. Go on a road trip

My eyes scan the list, it was relatively short and of course it was! He had his whole life to do whatever he wanted to do, it was I that had to cram, to get some life long experiences in a limited amount of time. When I feel his eyes on me, I look up.