𝐔𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 | itachi/sasuke uchiha

special chapter #1

"(name), I take it you remember Kisame and Hidan?"

You scowl as Itachi leads his two friends into your living room with your arms crossed. They sit on the couch while Itachi takes the separate arm chair, surrounding the coffee table. You shut the door, and take a seat in the armchair opposite from Itachi. Kisame sits with his hands in his lap, quiet and polite. Hidan, however, relaxes into the back of the couch, eyes looking you up and down.

"You guys want anything specific for dinner?" you ask, trying not to sound too mean.

"We just ate, but thank you anyway," says the fish-like man, nodding at you. You'd never had any problem with him; he was actually quite nice. Hidan, on the other hand, was a total pain in the ass.

"So fucking full," groans Hidan, throwing his head back. You shoot him a look, then narrow your eyes at Itachi, who just shrugs and turns the TV on with the remote. Then suddenly, a searing pain makes its way into your abdomen, causing you to double over and groan, clutching your stomach. The three men's heads turn to face you, and you slowly straighten up, a grim look on your face. Hidan smirks.

"You're not pregnant, are you?" he asks curiously, squinting at you. You growl.

"Shut up!" You storm into the kitchen to look for some chocolate to help with your period pains, but alas, to no avail. You slam open cupboards and drawers in your vain quest, making a lot of noise.

"(name)? Is everything alright?" calls Itachi from the living room. You slam the cutlery drawer shut and turn your head to the living room's direction.

"NO!" You make your way upstairs to your room and ruthlessly begin looking through all your drawers and clothes, trying to see if you had any chocolate stashed away somewhere. You come across a packet of licorice, a diary you hadn't written in for four years, an old photo of you and Sasuke, and a pair of pink ear muffs Mikoto had given you last winter. But no chocolate. Anywhere.

Furiously, you tear the blankets off of your already messy bed and throw them onto the ground, stomping your foot on the ground. As you re-emerge into the living room, the three men have all gotten onto their feet and cautiously backed away from you, warily watching your every move. Steam was literally pouring from your ears, and you were on the verge of screaming your lungs out.

"I-is there anything we can do for you, (name)-chan?" gulps Kisame nervously. Even Hidan looks a bit anxious at your sudden diva mood, but that doesn't stop him from being the cocky little bastard he is.

"You horny?" He squints at you, and you snap at him.

"MOTHERF-" You leap forward and latch your hands around Hidan's throat, with the intent to strangle him. Kisame and Itachi wince at the sight of their comrade suffering at your hands, but then again, he's immortal, so they had nothing to worry about. As you knock Hidan to the ground, you spin rapidly and face Kisame and Itachi, nostrils flaring dangerously.

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO LOOKING AT, HUH?!" you yell, raising a fist at them. "WHY YOU LITTLE-"

They both turn and scurry away, locking themselves in a room, fearing for their lives. They hear you continue your rampage on Hidan in the living room, and look at each other.

"What do we do?" whispers Kisame, his face blanching. Itachi shrugs, just as scared as he was, then goes back to listening on you relentlessly tormenting Hidan with blow after blow.

"FUCKING HELL, WOMAN, CALM DOWN!" he hears Hidan yell. It's followed by a loud smash, making him wince. He feels Kisame stiffen beside him, and poke his shoulder.

"Um... Itachi?" The elder Uchiha brother looks at his friend.

"What is it?" Kisame points at your messy and near bare bed.

"I smell blood," he says in a tiny voice. Itachi gets to his feet and goes to examine your bedsheets. Sure enough, there was a dried up pool of blood right in the center of it, making him shrivel his nose in disgust. He then tuts, shaking his head.

Oh, (name).

"(Name), I brought you s- WHAT THE-" Itachi and Kisame rush back to the door and yank it open, rushing to the living room at the sound of a new voice entering the house. They're greeted by the sight of a shell shocked Sasuke standing at the front door with a plastic bag in his hand, while you've pinned Hidan down onto the coffee table and tied his wrists to his ankles over his head. He yelps in pain while you give Sasuke a deadly look, your amethyst eye gleaming atrociously.

Sasuke approaches you as if approaching a wild lion, slow and steady with his hands out.

"H-Hey, (name), I br-brought you this..." he says, slowly holding out the plastic bag to you. You raise an eyebrow and leave Hidan, before getting up and taking the bag from him. You squeal with joy as you see what's in it, and throw your arms around Sasuke.

"YOU'RE THE BEST!" You plant a kiss on his cheek and make your way to your room, skipping. The four males are left in your trashed living room, completely stunned.

"Untie me!!" yells Hidan, writhing at the bindings you'd put on him. Kisame rushes forward and unties his friend, and Sasuke glances at Itachi.

"What the hell happened?" he asks curiously.

"Well... I'm not entirely sure myself," confessed the older one, shrugging. As soon as Hidan's able to get to his feet, he scowls.

"I'm out," he snaps, leaving and slamming the door behind him. The three remaining males exchange looks, and unanimously decide to straighten up your living room while you took a steaming hot shower. Fifteen minutes later, they've all settled around the coffee table and pulled out a deck of cards, playing a quick game of last card.

"ITACHI!!" They all jump at the sound of you storming down the hallway. When you come into sight wearing only a small towel wrapped around your body, Kisame averts his gaze while Itachi and Sasuke exchange glances, blushing.

You're dragging Hidan along the ground by his silvery hair, furious. You yank him upwards and throw him at Itachi, holding your towel with your other hand.

"KEEP YOUR CREEPY ASS FRIENDS AWAY FROM ME!" you yell, as Hidan hits the couch with a smack.

"Wh-what...?" You point an accusing finger at Hidan.

"THIS PERVY ASS CREEP WAS TRYING TO WATCH ME SHOWER!"

Dark looks cross Itachi's and Sasuke's faces as they slowly turn to look at the Jashin worshipping man.

"She's so fucking hot, though!" Veins pop on the foreheads of the two Uchiha brothers as they round on the man, eyes dark. He crawls away from them, and Kisame covers his eyes.

"W-wait! Itachi! Sasuke! What's with the...?" As you make your way back to your bedroom, you smirk with satisfaction as you hear the Uchiha brothers giving Hidan the hiding he truly deserved.