psychotic; jmb

chapter one

"shut the fuck up!" my voice screeches in frustration and anger.

"don't you talk to me like that," kate, my mom, points at me with a long, pointy fingernail.

i crosses my arms and took a deep breath, "watch me."

she grabbed a bottle jack daniels and threw it at me. it smashed into thousands of pieces on the flew. the little amount of fluid that used to be in it splattered on me and the wall behind me. i jumped back a little. kate's face softened, even though she means every action she does.

i rush up my room and slam the door.

"rose avery!" her voice was muffled as i step towards the door and lock it.

i step away from it and walk to my closet. the black adidas shoebox that holds all my savings sits in the back, covered by a huge pile of dirty clothes. i pull all the clothes out and grab it. after settling it on my bed, i grabbed a large backpack and pulled the zipper to open it. many of my clean clothes are still hanging neatly in my closet, so i grab them and stuff them into the backpack. i also grab my mascara and makeup pallets.

"rose," a crack in her muffled voice makes me soft.

kate tries at the door once more before i hear her stepping away, down the hallway to her room. she slams her door loud enough for me to hear.

i walk into my bathroom and pull my toothbrush and toothpaste into a toiletry bag. i place that bag on top of the jumbled clothes in my backpack.

after packing my headphones and phone charger, i threw the lid off the adidas box and counted all the dollars and cents inside. around $1,650.43. that should be able to get me by long enough.

i have other ideas on how to survive, though. i could find a sugar daddy. my age hasn't caught up with my body, meaning i look at least 18. plus, is that even illegal? is it prostitution?

i shove all the money into the top of the bag and struggle to zip it back up. once both the zippers touch, i grab a hoodie from my closet and slip it on over my shoulders. my car keys are sitting on my dresser. before i go, i take one last look at myself, breathe in deeply, and try to smile. it doesn't work of course. i grab the keys and the bag. i run downstairs quickly and try to not make people realize what exactly i'm doing.

"hey rose."

my shoes squeak as i stop. i slowly turn to find joshua, my older brother. great.

"hey, dawg!" ew what the fuck is wrong with me?

he crossed his arms and smirked. shit, he knows. joshua has always been able to figure me out by a single look. it's terrible, yet amazing at times.

"i won't tell mom, but please promise that you will keep in touch with me."

"of course josh," i step towards him and pull him into a hug.

"i love you rose," he squeezed me tighter.

"i love you too joshie."

he pulled away and smiled. i ruffles his hair and stepped towards the door. before leaving completely, i waved to him. he waved back and saluted me. i tried to breathe out a laugh, but nothing came.

saluting each other has always been our thing. when we were little, we used to pretend to be in the army. i remember that i always wanted to be lieutenant, though so did he. we always fought about it till kate came up with a trading system. eventually, josh grew out of it and started noticing girls. he still saluted me, and i did the same of course.

this is probably the hardest goodbye i've ever said.

i closed the door and walked to my car. i opened the door and sat down. a tear fell down my cheek. i wiped it away, but more came soon after. it's no use to sit here, where kate or her dumbass crackhead of a boyfriend could find me. i start my car and pull out of the garage, leaving all my troubles and woes away. i probably should go to a motel first.

about two towns over, there's a nice little motel. i saw it on a field trip in eighth grade.  and that's about the only time school has taught me something.  or the only thing i will remember from it. 

***

i pull into their driveway and park near the front.  the lady at the front desk smiles as i walk in. 

"hi. how much is a room?" i grab a mint from the bowl sitting on her desk and unwrap it.

"for a week, 300."

"300 dollars?"

that's going to add up fast. 

"are all motel prices like this?" i bit my lip.

she nodded and i sighed.  i nodded back and started to walk away.

"hope it works out for you, hun!" she smiles as i walk out the door.

time for plan b.