The day I got the keys to the house was an emotional day for me. It was the end of my old life and the beginning of a new one.
I slowly drove my Lexus up the dirt driveway toward the orange and red brick house. Most of the bricks were peeling off, and the window sills didn't seal tightly anymore either. The barn was spacious, but full of stray cats, hay, and a cow that had apparently been left behind by the previous owner because she was so old. I half expected to find her dead one day when I went out to feed the cats.
Stopping in front of the house, I put the car in park and got out, grabbing my one travel bag from the back seat. I looked the house up and down, embracing the change in my life.
Inhaling the country air, I held it for a few seconds and then exhaled. I felt relaxed as the cool air sent a shiver down my spine.
What are you waiting for Sam, Christmas?
I smiled, then reached in my pocket for the key. Pulling it out, I then walked toward the house and up the stairs of the sinking front porch. Everything needed work, but it excited me to have the opportunity to fix it up into something beautiful.
Inserting the key and opening the door, I felt like I was walking through the threshold into another world. I closed the door and then peered around the house as if I had never set foot in it before.
"Welcome to our new home," I announced, setting my bag on the wooden floor.
It's your home, Sam, corrected my inner voice. I'm just a voice in your head.
"You'll always be part of me."
I know, and I will always be there for you in your times of need. Just remember, you can't love someone else until you love yourself first. And if you can't save yourself, you will never be able to save someone else.
"Isn't that where you come in?" I asked out loud with a smile.
It is. And that is why I told you to open that basement door. I saved you that day, but I won't need to do that for a while now.
Furling my brow, I questioned my inner voice. "Why not?"
Because you're single again, and this house doesn't have a basement. If you get lonely, I'll be around, but there's always those cats in the barn.
I smirked. "Thanks."
Take care, Sam.
A familiar, yet awkward silence filled my head at that moment. It didn't feel natural to be without my guiding light on the inside. It had helped me through so much that year, yet now it was going on hiatus for a while. How long however, depended on what would happen for me in the coming months as I worked on my new home, my mind wandering to the fact I was still married.
Being separated like this didn't mean it was the end, not legally anyway. If I really wanted to move on I would have to file for divorce. Marta wouldn't tolerate me going on dates while she was in prison, but if I did meet someone, it would give me a good reason to propose the idea of ending my marriage with her.
With her good behaviour clause being in her reduced sentence, I didn't give myself much time away from her. Based on what the judge had ruled, she was eligible for visitations and supervised trips to see me. The only issue with that was I also had to agree to them.
Marta had been leaving messages on my voicemail every month since she went to prison. She had a bad habit of calling when I wasn't near my phone, so I never got to speak to her. As far as I knew, she wasn't allowed free access to the phone at any time, so I figured calling her back would have been pointless, except for when I wished her a Merry Christmas.
Christmas and the new year came and went without her, which was really tough for me since I was so used to having her around when I went to see my parents. We had dinner as usual and didn't talk much about Marta. My mom asked if she had called and I told her about the voicemails, but didn't elaborate on what they contained.
Both my mom and dad knew it was best to let me cruise alone for a while. After dropping the news bomb on them about Marta and the killings, they were letting me figure things out on my own. I still had a special place in my heart for her, but the love was fading as the months passed. Not being in physical contact with her was a huge hurdle for me to overcome. There were no good night kisses, cuddles, back rubs, massages, or even sex for that matter. The whole physical aspect of the relationship was gone, and the voicemails weren't enough to keep my love for her going. It was dying. And I wasn't sure if it would make a recovery.
My new job as a janitor distracted me from a lot of the internal struggles I had to endure. Since I worked at a highschool and only saw the other janitors I worked with, there were few opportunities for me to meet someone new. Even when I would go out on the bike at the beginning of spring the following year, I didn't plan to join a riding group. I enjoyed the solitude of clearing my head, but I would definitely miss those times Marta would come with me. There was something reassuring about having her on the back of the Triumph.
It wasn't until the end of June when I finally got to answer a phone call from Marta while on break at work.
"Hello," I answered after accepting the call.
"Hi, baby," she greeted. "I was wondering if you would ever pick up."
I laughed. "You always call when my phone isn't on me. You're lucky today though, I'm just on a quick break."
"Oh, well that is good, baby. I miss you so much. The photo I have of you is keeping me sane, but it does not keep me warm at night."
"I've missed you too," I confessed. Even though I didn't miss her daily, there were a lot of times when I did. "Oh yeah? You don't have a lesbian lover to keep you warm?" I peered around the break room to double check I was alone.
"What? No, baby. My cellmate is like me, except old. She has been helping me through this. And the reason I am calling today is to let you know I passed the evaluation, so I get an unsupervised weekend trip to see you."
"Unsupervised?" My jaw hung open in shock.
"Yes, baby. For two whole days. Are you excited?"
"Well," I laughed, half stuttering. "You don't even know where I live."
"The prison has a special driver to take me, but I will be blindfolded for the whole trip."
"Oh... that's interesting. So, what weekend?"
"That is why I called you, baby. You have to tell me which one so I can request it." I could tell from her voice that her excitement was growing. She was really looking forward to seeing me again.
"Hold on a second." I pulled the phone away from my ear and glanced at the date. Then I looked at the calendar that hung on the break room wall and realized there was only a week left in the month. Bringing my cell phone back up to my ear I answered, "I guess you could try for the last weekend in July."
"Okay, baby. I will do that. I'm so happy I got to speak to you today. I will call you next month when I find out if they approve it. I love you and miss you."
"Okay. You too. Talk to you soon."
"Bye."
I looked at the screen of my phone as the call ended, her smiling photo fading to black. I was in total shock. She was allowed an entire weekend with me, and to top it off, it was going to be unsupervised because she passed her psychological assessment. How the hell did she manage that?
YOU ARE READING
The Blood Barn (Book #2 in trilogy)
Mystery / ThrillerSam is haunted by his decision to leave his wife after a phone call from her. One day she shows up out of the blue, free as a bird and ready to start over. There's only one problem: she didn't come alone. #Wattys2019 Word count: 55,092 #11 in Barn o...