"Zild, are you sure about this? is it really okay? You know you don't have to stay with me." Sabi ko sakaniya.
I told him that he doesn't need to sleep at my apartment tonight. Wala lang din naman sa'kin yun. I guess nasanay na rin naman ako na aalis siya kagad. Bukod kasi sa busy siya sa mga gigs niya, natatakot din ako na makarating sa iba.
"Dito ako matutulog. Try and stop me," He grinned and placed a kiss on my cheek.
Nginitian ko siya but a tired one, "Zildjian Benitez..." Bulong ko habang tinitignan ko siya na nakaupo sa sofa habang ako naman ay nagliligpit ng pinagkainan namin at nilagay sa sink para hugasan na niya.
Pagkatapos nun, I went to the balcony para magpahangin.
It's always been like this. For almost two years, he goes straight to my apartment to eat dinner with me after his gigs then after a while he goes home or stays with me. And if I'm lucky, I get to see him perform.
But if I'm lucky nga lang... Because most of the times kasama niya yung girlfriend niya.
Oo. Girlfriend niya.
Oo. Hindi niya ako girlfriend.
Kapal ng mukha kong manira ng relasyon 'no? Paano gagawin? Eh mahal ko.
Paminsan din naman, naiisip ko na sana ako na lang yung girlfriend ni Zild. Yung pwede kaming magholding hands in public... di na niya kailangan magdelete ng messages namin araw araw... gagawin niyang lockscreen yung picture ko... yung mga ganun.
Oh how I wish I was Shanne... Pero not in this kind of situation. Yung hindi niya alam na for two straight years niloloko siya ng boyfriend niya.
"Love, ano iniisip mo nanaman?" I felt his hands on my shoulders, "Tapos na ako maghugas ng pinggan, let's get some sleep?"
Humarap ako sakaniya with a soft smile, "Sige lang. Susunod nalang ako."
Kumunot naman noo niya, "Don't tell me you're thinking about-"
"Your girlfriend? I think about her everyday, Zild." I laughed it off.
"Eto nanaman ba tayo..." Napabuntong hininga siya tapos naupo din siya sa harap ko.
"I just want your answer sa isang tanong ko." I mumble tapos I held his hands, caressing it.
"One question." He repeats sternly.
I nod, "Bakit di mo siya kayang hiwalayan?" Mabagal kong sabi.
Napayuko naman siya, "You're tired... Matulog na tayo." Sabi niya, purposely ignoring my question.
"Zild..." I said as I was tearing up.
"I don't know." Sabi niya sa'kin, "I honestly don't know."
"You can't break up with her because you love her, don't you?"
"I don't love her Goddammit! I love you! Bakit pa ako dito natulog at pumupunta araw araw kung hindi ikaw yung mahal ko!" He shouted at me angrily then he let go of my hand. Tumayo na siya at pumasok sa loob. I followed him.
I started to cry more, "If you love me Zild. You have to break up with her or-"
"Or what?" He challenges me. He knows. He knows I can't break up with him. He knows I love him that much.
"Or I'll be the one to break up with you." Sabi ko sakaniya. Even though, I know that it was a lie.
Kung kaya kong makipagbreak sakaniya, I should've done it years ago, pero di ko kaya. Kasi nga mahal ko siya. But I can't love someone who can't prove to me na mahal niya ako. At ako lang talaga.
It sounds very selfish, I know. I was already about to give him up, to break up with him pero sinabi niya na ako mahal niya. Paano ako maniniwala kung di niya gagawin yon? I can't stand seeing him with someone else. Two years na eh.
Natahimik siya nung sinabi ko sakaniya yon. He just looked at me with a sad look at hindi na galit gaya nung kanina. Napabuntong hininga lang siya. He cupped my face with his two hands and planted a kiss on the top of my head.
"Goodnight." Then he left and went to the bedroom without a single word.
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He Cheated (Zild Benitez Short Fanfiction)
RomanceHe loves me. He told me loves me. But not enough that he can let go of Shanne. Because whether he really loves me or not... He cheated.