Earbuds

I.

It's late; almost 12am. I'm too tired to be tired you know? I lay restless in bed yet wishing rest was all I could receive.

A nearby chime triggers my ear, it comes from my laptop. I jump up, nearly throwing the covers up so high and so far that they almost deplete to the floor. Anything, anything, could provide something to help my quenched need for activity. It's summer vacation after all! Why am I so drained but wide awake?

The space grey cover is cold to the touch; quickly sending shivers down my spine.

Although it's summer, some days in mid July become swift weather flips and my Californian warm weather adjusted body is startled by even degrees in low 70s.

Still, I open the laptop to see the lock screen and a notification in the top right corner reading: Evening Routine which was a reminder to follow my skin care routine I ignored almost 3 hours ago at 9 o'clock.

I shouldn't skip it, I think to myself. Just one day missed and I could wake up tomorrow with an ultimate pimple face.

I rub my face harshly and bend my back forward to put my hair up. I begin sending my fingers through my hair to bring it all towards a section on the top of my head and wrap it all together messily, leaving loose strands and annoying amounts of baby hair in the back. It's not the best bun; it's lopsided and reminds me of the scene from Frozen when Anna wakes up, but who am I trying to impress?

Hovering my toes over the floor, I soon find out that the floor isn't cold like I presumed it would be but I still run over to slip on a pair of fuzzy socks I've been wearing non stop since last Christmas.

Christmas never was a very big holiday in my family. Or maybe not for me, I'm indecisive. Sure, we go to church in the morning and make dinner and open presents, but we never have a huge family reunion like I see others post about online and get jealous about. We had done that in the past but after a while I guess invites stopped getting sent or we stopped attending. It's been different the past few years, and tough, but nothing that I couldn't push through.

Cleanser product gets rubbed on my face and I rub in circular motions until I feel the need to wash it off and apply the after-wash cream. The water is warm, almost hot, and feels nice against my freckled cheeks. I dry off, smooth in a moisturizer, and head back to bed but stop when I pass the MacBook.

I'm not tired yet, I push away the idea of sleeping.

Not yet.