CARTER THOUGHTS | the winkook kid

Dinner.

   Hi there! My name is Jeon Carter Winston Hernandez! But, you can call me Carter!

   Today I went to school. It was boring as usual! I just drew in my notebook the whole day. Mommy says I get my drawing skills from my daddy!

   When I asked what talent I got from her she just shrugged. I hate when she's sad, because it makes me sad too.

   So I told her, "Well I think I get my cute grin, and my kind heart from you!"

   Then she did show her cute grin and I did too!

   She said we had dinner tonight with the Go Girlz so I was excited!

   Mommy said go fix my hair so I did. My hair is just black but I thought I should dye it like daddy does. Mommy says I shouldn't unless I want dead hair like him though.

   But daddy looks cool I think. I wanna be cool too. I miss him.

   I miss the way he used to pick me up from school in his expensive car. He did that so I'd look cool to my classmates. I miss the way he use to lay with me until I fell asleep. He did that because I was scared of the dark. But now all I see is darkness so it doesn't effect me much. Most of all, I miss him simply having fun with me. We used to go to the park and throw the baseball every Friday after school. That was my favorite thing ever. Now I don't even know where I stuffed my baseball gear. It's gone, but I don't mind.

   I try not to let these thoughts get in my head but they always do.

   "Carter, hurry up the Go Girlz are here." My sister told me as she pounded on my door.

   "Okay." I replied.

   I don't talk to my sister much. She's 13 so we only have a 3 year difference but, I hate her guts. Sometimes I think she gets too crazy. Like when she hits me in my face when I do something simple, like borrow her hairbrush, or steal one of her fries, or even look at her. But she's older, so I guess she knows better than me. That's why I don't bother telling mom.

   The Go Girlz are here which is good news for me!

   I can see my favorite noona! Bray Bray!

   She's so beautiful.

   Maybe it's the Mexican in me that likes her. I am 49% Mexican so it makes sense, I think.

   Wow. There's an open seat next to her at the table. I'm gonna go for it!

   So I start walking towards the chair, oh.

   My sister swoops into it. She has that weird smug grin on her face and she's looking right at me.

   I'll just sit across from my favorite noona I guess.

   Mommy is the last to sit down. She sits at the end of the huge table in her regular spot. The other end is daddy's chair but it's empty tonight of course.

   We ate dinner and conversed. Mommy talked mostly about how amazing my sisters grades were, and how good she was at sports, and how she was doing so well at music and singing like her dad.

   But she didn't talk about me. I guess there's not much to talk about.

   I tried to focus on eating my food but I kept glancing over to noona.

   Then that's when she looked at me.

   And that's when she turned to my mom and asked, "Tell us a little about how Carter's doing."

   And that's when her feet touched mine.
  
   She used her feet to slide off my shoes after doing the same to her own pair. Then she started rubbing our feet together with hers on top of mine. I just smiled and wiggled my feet at the satisfying feeling. Bray Bray noona smiled too. Eventually both of our pairs of socks were tossed away and our naked feet were touching each other. It was almost violent but it was nice. Sometimes noona would wiggle my small toes in between hers.

   I think she's just trying to comfort me.
Right?

   The whole time this was going on my mommy was attempting to tell funfacts about me.

   "Yea he's thinking about boxing like his dad, but I'm not sure he'd last to be honest."

   "He's a great singer really, but he only ever screams to that annoying emo music."

   "I wish he'd attempt to bring out his cute looks more, but he always looks so plain because he doesn't try."

   "As and Bs is what he gets, just the average kid sadly."

   "I really think he should take up baseball. He used to love it."

   I stood up at that. Noona jumped a little when I removed my feet but no one paid attention. They were looking at me.

   "I'm done. Please excuse me." I said and left, not bothering to wait for a response.

   "Bye Carter!" Bray Bray noona called.

   I said nothing and continued upstairs to my room.

   I miss him.

   So I decide I'm going to call him.

   It rings three times until he finally picks up.

  "What's up Carter?" Daddy answers.

   "Hey daddy. I miss you."

   "Aw, how sweet."

   "How many concerts do you have left?"

   "I'm not actually sure. It's not your concern anyways son. Don't worry about it."

   "Hey dad?"

   "What Carter?"

   "I wanted to ask if it's normal for people to play with another persons feet under the table?"

   "Ha ha ha. Yes. Usually with someone you really like. Did this happen to you?"

   "No. Of course not daddy. I was just curious."

   "Right.."

   "Jungkook come on bro we've got work to do!"

   "Coming! I've gotta go Carter. Jin Hyung's waiting. Bye."

   "B-"

   He already hung up. I was gonna say I love you, but too late I guess.

   I'm a bit sad at the moment but I shouldn't be. I have a lot to look forward to!

   Like my daddy coming home! And my mom loving me.! And the fact that Noona might like me a lot!

   I just need to practice my daddy's motto, "Love Yourself."

   I just need to keep believing that. That way everyone's happy.