A house of cards is hard to build, but easy to break. One slight force will make the whole thing fall down. And yet, we still rebuild the house, no matter how long it takes.
And for what? Just for it to fall back over again? Because that's not what I wanted my house of cards to do.
I wanted to build it and it be able to stand up strong. For others to admire and see all the hard work.
But that isn't what happened.
No. My cards fell and left a big mess for me to clean it up and start over, all the way from the bottom. At first I was okay with starting over, but when I picked up all the cards, I no longer saw a point to rebulid.
Maybe it was because I realized there was no way of it staying up, or maybe that there was nothing to be proud of... It was just a deck of cards put in a different order.
Who even cares?
And that's when I realized that I care.
I care about how the cards are put into a house.
I care about how hard I work to get the house to be perfect.
I care about the stupid house of cards, but to me, it's not stupid.
To me it's a perfect use of my time. No matter how much it's knocked down, I want to be here to rebuild it.
And that's how I describe how I feel about relationships.
