Falling Petals; Jookyun fanfic

part 1

Changkyun's POV

I opened the door to my dorm. Carrying the groceries I've brought from the convenience store that's mainly just a whole bunch of instant ramen, I entered the dorm and just then my ears are being pierced from the yelling voice that came from the person stood before me.

"Im Changkyun! Where have you been until this late?!"

I looked at him in fear. My body starts trembling knowing what he'll probably do next.

"I- I- I'm from the convenience store.."

Stuttering, I'm showing the groceries I've brought with me.

"Look here, you think I'll take your bull? ANSWER ME IM CHANGKYUN!"

He grabbed my hair, his eyes looking straight into mine, piercing it. I dropped my groceries to the floor, whimpering from the pain on my head.

"I- I really am..!"

"You dare to raise your voice at me? Huh?!"

A loud slap noise was heard and not long after I felt ominous pain from my left cheek and I was on my knee on the ground. Tears starts to escape my eyes as i see him walking back to his room. It hurts. It really is. But who am i to complain anyway.

"Changkyun-ah, what's that noi- Changkyun! What happened to you?!"

Kihyun ran to me with a worried look on his face, then he procceed to treat my newly made wound.

"Is it Jooheon again?"

I just weakly nodded at his question, now looking down as tears start to build up again.

"You know you should really try to talk it out with him or just breakup with him. He's already hurting you enough. You should consider a breakup already. I can't bear to watch you hurting like this."

"I'm gonna go to my room."

Completely ignoring his request, I went to my room, locking the door. I'm the only one that doesn't share my room with the other member since we have an odd numbered member.

Well it's a benefit for me to have a room for myself. Because if I were to share my room with another member I can't do the thing I'm about to do easily. I searched for that particular thing and I finally found it. The penknife that I had to hide from the members. None of the members know that I has this penknife and what I'm about to do with it.

I rolled up my pants until it reach my upper thigh. Seeing the other scars that I've made, there's a feeling inside me. I feel satisfaction as I make another one on my left thigh.

After a while doing this, it doesn't hurt a bit and it's kind of a stress reliever for me now.

I dragged the penknife to make the cut even longer and deeper. I watch as blood gushes out from my skin. It's normal for me now to see my own blood nor I'm scared of it.

While at it, Kihyun's previous words suddenly popped up on my mind.

How can I breakup with him when I still love him?

It's really not that easy if you experienced it. It's really not. It hurts so much that I can't breakup with him. It hurts so much that I don't even have the courage to talk it out to him. It hurts so much that I still love him.

It hurts.