"Do it, Coward." - Merrikat

Do it, Coward

Everybody thought Jack and Alex were dating. The entire school did. They were almost completely convinced that the boys weren't just best friends, they were together. It wasn't a stupid assumption, with the best friends sitting in each others laps, holding hands, kissing each other. They just had to be together.

But as you had probably guessed by now, they're not together. As flamboyant and feminine as he acts, Alex is actually straight as a ruler, with a girlfriend. He's just very close with his best friend, Jack. Who, on the other hand, was quite different.

He isn't gay, he calls himself bisexual, but he isn't sure. He really struggles to figure himself out, but he knows he's not straight. After all, he has a boyfriend, who he loves very much.

Although, it's awful being in a relationship while you're trying to hide that you like boys. Because he wants to hold his boyfriend's hand in public, he wants to kiss him and tell him he loves him, and god, he would absolutely love to sit in his lap, but the two of them are too scared of outing themselves.

Jack's boyfriend is exactly who everyone would expect it not to be, Zack. Why isn't anyone suspicious? Because they almost ignore each other, to avoid even the slightest hint of suspicion from anyone, even their friends. Well, apart from Rian and Alex.

Both of them wish they could be affectionate outside of their homes, because saving anything even remotely romantic for inside their bedroom is exhausting. Oh yes, they're not out to their parents yet.

They want to be, they know they'll be accepting, but just the thought of coming out terrifies them, and whenever anything to do with homosexuality is brought up, both of them almost jump out of their skin.

...

"We really need to tell them, y'know," Zack is stroking Jack's hair, the boy's head resting against his shoulder. They're in Zack's room, cuddling and hoping his parents don't come in suddenly.

Jack knows that. He knows they need to tell them, but just thinking about coming out makes his chest feel tight. He can't stand it, but then again, he can't stand lying, either.

"Well... we don't need to, right? Like... we can keep it for a little while longer, can't we?" He asks, his voice small. It makes Zack melt, and it's so cute that Zack can't say no.

But he knows they shouldn't keep hiding it. They've been together four months now, they can't hide it for that much longer. "We can hide it, but it's just... it's just a matter of time before they come in at the wrong time, and we get outed... wouldn't you prefer to tell them, than they find out accidentally?"

Jack scoffs at that, because it's obvious. It's stupidly obvious, and he can't believe Zack just asked that. "Well duh, of course I would. It's just so scary, y'know? It's scary to think about, let alone do it.

Zack just sighs. He knows it's scary, and he's scared too. Just, less scared than Jack. He stays quiet, unsure of how to continue the conversation after that. Until he quietly speaks up again, "I'm scared too. But you just... it could go wrong, but it could also go really well. They'll probably be okay with it."

"I know that, but there's the chance that they'll be mad, and throw me out... and god, it fucking scares me." He hates how scared he is, he hates that he can't just man up and say it, but the mere thought of his parents yelling at him for being gay makes his eyes sting with the threat of tears.

Zack stays silent then. All he does is kiss Jack's forehead, to show that he's listening. He gets it. He gets why Jack is so scared, it's understandable. Coming out is a big thing, and he's so ready to do it, he's so ready to kiss Jack while they're out, but Jack isn't ready in the slightest.