artistic experimentation || chaelisa

bowled over

Chaeyoung could feel sunlight against her closed eyelids, the warmth turning her world to a dull red glow. She didn't open them yet though. She wanted to still be asleep. She wanted to be far away. She wanted to be some other person in some other body living some other life. She didn't want to think about last night.

But the weight of the light was too much to bear. Creakily, Chaeyoung opened one eyelid, the streaming sunbeams slamming into her. With an almost super-human effort, she managed to roll over and check her clock. She had eleven minutes to get to her first class of the day, photography, and someone seemed to have come in in the night and replaced her hands and feet with bricks.

As she staggered upright and began trying to find clothes that weren't too gross to wear in public, the events of last night began filtering through her sleep deprived mind. Lisa breaking down. Lisa holding her. Lisa kissing her. Lisa breaking down, again. Lisa not wanting to talk about the girl, about Jisoo. Lisa leaving. Chaeyoung sitting up, trying to find the courage to call. Chaeyoung wondering what she'd done wrong. Chaeyoung finally falling asleep as the sky turned a washed out yellow-grey with the sunrise.

The day was bright, which was irritating. Chaeyoung wanted weather that matched her mood, clouds and mist and fogs and drizzle. Weather that would let you be confused. In the bright light of day, there was no room for doubt. She had been wrong about everything, and Lisa was in love with the girl back home.

•••

She slipped into class three minutes late, but the Professor must have had an even worse night than she had because the desk at the front of the room was still empty. Chaeyoung headed for her usual seat at the back, half the table already occupied by Jennie and the other by a boy perched on the edge of the desk, attempting to flirt. As soon as she saw Chaeyoung coming, Jennie shooed him with a wave of her hand and he slunk away, his pride wounded.

"Is no one safe from your charms?" Chaeyoung asked, sliding into her chair and trying to seem more awake than she felt. Considering that she was upright with open eyes, she felt like she was doing a pretty great job.

"Oh trust me, he is," Jennie responded, without so much as a glance in the boy's direction, "no dress sense whatsoever, and he asked me to a barbecue at his cousins house as a date. Not a tough decision."

"Poor guy."

"Do you want to console him?" She didn't wait for a reply, "you look really awful by the way. I hope it's for fun, up all night with Ms. Manoban reasons."

"Not fun reasons, no."

"Care to elaborate?"

"Not particularly."

Jennie actually looked at Chaeyoung's face for a moment. "Can I have an out of ten for that?"

"What?"

"Like, on a scale from not fun because we watched Sandra Bullock movies and cuddled all night and I only like Miss Congeniality to not fun because I tried to kiss her and she turned out to be a Christian fundamentalist with a hand gun, how bad are we talking."

"Not fun as in I pushed her into having a nervous break down and then realised that she was still in love with her ex-girlfriend, so not only will I never be her girlfriend but I might not even be her friend any more but I'm still enrolled in a class that requires me staring at her naked for an hour every week. That kind of not fun."

"That is certified not fun."

"And she's prettier than me."

"Who is?"

"The ex-girlfriend."

"Ah. Well that is possible."

"And the worst part is she wouldn't even admit it, but I saw a picture of them together and it was so clear on her face. She just says that she's named Jisoo and then clams up and says she's really tired and goes back home and she hasn't texted me since, and..." but Chaeyoung trailed away.