Unrelinquished Thoughts

I

Adaptability is the key to survival.

In nature, it can be seen with every animal and insect that you look at; how these animals such as frogs or stick insects can change colors to effortlessly blend into their surroundings, protecting themselves from predators.

But when it comes to humans, adaptability is not just about blending into your surroundings by dressing provocatively according to the latest fashion statements or having no individuality. My personal experience is that, when you are forced into a new environment by the last set of predators, you learn to observe the new group and replicate it to have a chance at survival.

When I had the chance at a new beginning, I thought everything would change. That being in a new environment would magically change my personality, making me more confident, less reserved and would give me the opportunity to choose my pack rather than be herded into the pile of rejects. Every time I found myself in yet another jungle I would also find myself in the same situations. Quickly I learned that the world is full of predators which will make you cry and feel completely alone. You cannot simply change who you are.

The hardest lesson I had to learn after countless nights and days of self-pity and resentment was that I am me. As tough as that may be, it is ok to be different.

My last chance became the beginning of something which was unexpectedly horrid but in many ways contained many silver linings. It was these moments, the silver linings, that I came to recognize that there are actually decent people, but it is other people that make them idiotic and give them predatory tendencies. I guess you could say I am a cynic and I would agree.

In the wildness of the new environment, my last chance, I stuck to the same old rule of thumb, observe and replicate. For the first few weeks, at least had a group, although not the greatest, it was bearable and provided a small cushion of comfort. After all, I was not there to be their friends or help them out with their assignments or listen to them rave about something amazing they had discovered but to selfishly help myself by not being alone. Now I know that it is ok to have your moments of greed, have that extra cookie or the whole packet while you are at it.  Something a little more solemn such as partnering up with a person in a project for their work ethic rather than for their personality. And we can all admit we have done both of those things. But I have also learned that while it is crucial to have your selfish indulgences, when you put yourself second to another person for just a fraction of time and devote your attention to them, it can brighten their day. And when one person does the same thing for you, it can be a slither of sunshine during a hail storm.

When in a group, a tendency which could swiftly be picked up by anyone that cares to look around them is that when you have a selection of males and females, primal instinct is activated. You could say some females scream like a Rock Sparrow, pushing their assets out for male attention while others quietly sit on the side of the field hoping that he will magically look your way and notice you. But the inevitable will always happen, its just a matter of time.

First comes infatuation, the sexual attraction of either the same or opposite sex. The guy with the most intoxicating eyes you have ever see, that when you look into his eyes, they will divulge your soul and you explore your deepest secrets. As tempting and desiring as he is, he is always the worst choice. An experience which you will hear about a bit later.

Second, is the chase. Some say that this is the best part of the infatuation. Where the tiger has eyes on its pr, except rather then being ravaged by a beast, you are encompassed with love if you're lucky. Mind consumed thinking about this one animal which they are willing to invest all of their energy into when the intentions are pure. But what happens if they aren't?

Be cautious when in this stage as heartbreak is usually inevitable and they do not mind to get a chisel and slowly work their way into you.

Word count: 750

Date: 04/08/2019