America the Unknown (United States of America #3)

Entry #9

Miss Emily became pregnant immediately after Miss Ada's passing.

Of course, it had been three human years since Miss Ada died, and once more Miss Emily had forgotten about any existence of having children. However, with this new pregnancy, I immediately feared the worst.

The English were attempting to colonize once more, this time with King James I giving the order. Multiple ships were heading to the south coast, with some heading up further north and the rest southwest where we were. I had been tending to my duties one day when Miss Emily collapsed in front of me.

I immediately was frightened and called in the doctor, who immediately began to work on her while she was still unconscious.

When he was done with her, he said those few words that I never wished to hear again.

She was with child once more.

Miss Emily was horrified when she heard the news upon regaining herself, but nowhere was there the fear that she would lose another child. Rather, there was only the fear of her true gender being discovered now that she was pregnant.

It was something that I had seen and heard happen before, and I cursed God for allowing this to happen again.

But I chose to curse the stupidity of the British.

They chose to create a colony near the very location where the French failed, and I already knew that was like they were actually praying for misfortune to befall them. And the fact that they were also attempting to colonize in a different part of the country as well told me the unthinkable.

Miss Emily was pregnant with another set of twins.

I wished to bring up these concerns to Miss Emily, but something stopped me. Even now, I can't decide what it is, but it stopped me from voicing these concerns. It was like something was telling me that everything will be alright, that this time will be different than the previous times.

Somehow, I wanted to believe it, but that did not stop my fear.

During the many months as both colonies were being developed, I believe that, subconsciously, Miss Emily was afraid that she would lose her children after they were born just as she had with Mr Etu and Mr Sol, and I truly felt for her. However, I kept my words in, knowing that it will not be of any help.

So all I could do was wait and be supportive to Miss Emily, while I feared the worst to happen.

Finally, it was months later when she gave birth once more.

I was not around her at this time, as I was getting ready to start the day, but I had been in haste, for I felt that something was wrong. Eventually, I could not wait any longer and rushed to Miss Emily's room, where I saw her holding a baby girl with the silkiest blonde hair I have ever seen, beautiful forest green eyes, and pale skin.

Miss Emily was smiling lovingly at the child, cooing at her and even singing a lullaby to her. I almost smiled at the sight had I not seen what was by her bedside.

It was another child, a boy, and he was not moving.

I stared, unable to believe what I was seeing. Miss Emily did not seem to see the child, for he was far from her sight, but I recognized that the child had the same silky blonde hair as his sister, and I imagined that he had the same green eyes as she. I felt tears burn my eyes as the realization set in.

The colony of Popham had failed after all.

"Mary?" Miss Emily called, her face filled with concern. "Are you alright? Do you need me to call the doctor?"

I bit my lip hard to keep any sobs from escaping me as I answered. "N-No, I'm fine Miss Emily, but...are you okay?"

Miss Emily looked confused. "Whatever do you mean?"

I found myself unable to say what I wanted to say. "Are you alright now that you have had the child?"

Miss Emily's eyes widened. "Oh yes, I'm alright, but..."

I blinked at her, seeing as a sad expression came to her face.

"I thought I dreamed there was another child with Evelyn," she said sadly. "He was so handsome, and I thought I imagined him being the most beautiful man I have ever known. I even named him Lucian. But...when I woke up, he was not there. It seems I was just being paranoid after all."

My eyes widened, and the tears almost burst out of my eyes like a rapid river. "I...see..."

I remember looking back to the boy, finding that he had already faded at this point. When I saw that, I finally allowed the tears to spill over, and I sobbed.

"Mary?" Miss Emily called, alarmed. "What is the matter?"

"N-No, nothing is wrong Miss," I said shakily, forcing a smile to my lips. "I'm just...so happy."

The baby girl, Evelyn, began to cry loudly, and Miss Emily looked down at her in alarm. I instantly recognized the reasons of her distress, and it only made me cry harder. She knew her younger twin brother was dead, she knew he existed.

Why did this have to happen?

It took a long time for Miss Emily to calm her distressed daughter, and she could not understand the reasons behind that distress, but I doubt she ever will. She did not need to know that she lost another child before she could even hold him, before she could even bond with him, and that was something I could not bring myself to say to my mistress.

She already lost too much. I can't add this new burden to her.

Months went by, and Miss Evelyn almost died a few times. Miss Emily was so distressed, refusing to leave her daughter's side for anything, and would hold her, sleep with her, and even feed her as best she could. Jamestown almost failed due to the environment, but to my relief and surprise, they managed to save themselves and Jamestown became successful.

I will never forget the relief on Miss Emily's face as Miss Evelyn got well. She cried for hours, holding her daughter in joy and relief, while Miss Evelyn was looking at her mother with concern.

She was a smart child, even as an infant.

But I still felt sorrowful that her twin brother wasn't there with her, that Miss Emily had no other child to raise. Though I suppose this would have to do.

I was also around for a few more decades, and I watched as Miss Emily gave birth to a boy named Ryker and another boy named Felix.

I was thankful that Miss Emily stopped losing anymore children after that, despite a few of them getting gravely sick a few times. Suddenly I wish that all the other head maids and the butler who served Miss Emily before me could see this, that now her children were growing up, creating the family that Miss Emily was so violently ripped from so many times.

I felt honored that I was there to see it.

I must stop writing for now, but I will write another time.

--Diary of Jane Faustus, written by Mary Brown, 1635