This may come as a surprise to you. I smile and laugh every single day but that never was the truth. I am sad, numb, stressed, anxious, fed up, and done. I'm a mistake. I was never ment to be here. I think I learned that from so many betrayals from people who I thought cared about me. I think I learned that when my sister would say I'm an idiot, wish you wasn't born. I think I learned that when people yelled at me for the simplest mistakes. I'm a failure and I'm pretty sure I knew that when I took my very first breath. I would angry and wish death upon people but I knew the only person I was mad at was myself. I really hate it when people pretend to give a shit about me when they don't. I really hate it the only comfort I have is a blade, pills, or a lighter. I really hate that whenever I look in the mirror, I want to erase what I see. I really hate saying "I'm fine" when IM NOT FINE. I really hate having to skip meals and stick finger in my mouth because society standards about being skinny. I would say to the people that love me but I know no one dose. It'll be quick. Just a swift kick and I'll be knocked unconscious and calm. Just a deep cut and I'll be bleeding my way to freedom. Just lean forward and I'll be falling to happiness. I will stand on the chair and fall. I am tired of living this nightmare. Constant fear, regret, sorrow, agony, guilt, loneliness. It will all be over in a matter of seconds Goodbye world Love Annamarie
F=freaked out I=insane N=nobody loves me E=empty
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