Dark Star

6. Reflection

Josef left the room quickly, locking the door to her room behind him. He was fairly certain he'd made a fool of himself. He, who was always the one to so carefully conceal his emotions, had been an emotional wreck in there. He was certain that the girl had read been able to read his every thought.

He ran to the bathroom down the hall. Upon entering, he went to the toilet and threw up. Hearing everything that, that girl had been through, he had begun to feel quite nauseous. He was utterly repulsed. What kind of man did something like that? It was sick. Whoever he was, he was a twisted, horrid monster.

He rinsed out the disgusting taste of vomit out of his mouth, then glanced at himself in the mirror. The calm, unfeeling mask that he usually wore on his face was gone. He took a moment to compose himself. After a few moments, when he looked at himself, he knew he was back in control. On the outside, at least. Inside he was still in an uproar.

Josef knew better than to believe the outward appearance. He'd taught himself to hide his feelings through fierce determination. At the time, he thought that it meant he'd be able to control his emotions as well. It was only until later he learned it was much harder to control emotions. It was, however, much easier to simply hide them. Nevertheless, he did feel.

So much had happened in the past few minutes, he tried to organize all of his thoughts. He had, had some time to wait until they left so he had decided to take a walk and explore the woods behind the house. He'd been lucky he'd done it, for he'd seen the girl stumble out of the house and try to escape through the woods. He knew she wouldn't be expecting anyone to be in the woods, so he'd simply sneaked up behind her and took her by surprise.

Then, there was the whole matter with Carsten. Josef had really cared about the boy. He'd seen a piece of himself in him, and he had proven himself to be smart and quick-witted. Somehow, though, that girl had been able to convince him to help her. He knew it was certain, Josef had always been good at reading people. He was always able to tell when Carsten was lying to him. He knew he had to kill him the instant he realized he had betrayed him, but he hated having to do it. Remembering, he clenched his fist. The girl would pay for his death.

The girl, that's how he made himself think of her, but he knew she was more than that. She was a mystery, something that puzzled him greatly. The moment she'd stood up in that bank, he'd known there was something special about her. He was captivated by her, even if he didn't know the reason why. And now she'd given him a piece to the puzzle, but he still knew there was more to her. He needed to know more.

Josef walked back down the hall to her room. He paused at the door. He had two options here, two choices, and he had decide what he was going to do now. He could let her story effect him, take pity on her, and be kind to her. Let his emotions control him. Or he could not let it effect him, and treat her like any other hostage that had tried to escape. Just forget her story completely. A part of him wanted to pick the first option, the part of him who was the person he used to be, but the majority of him had already chosen option two.

He unlocked the door and entered the room, once again. He found her, sitting on the floor, right where she had been standing. She had been crying. For a moment, he almost gave in to option one. She looked so sad and scared. However, he didn't.

He walked across the room to her, and pulled her up onto her feet. Reaching to his belt, he grabbed his knife, pointing it at her. She looked at him, shock and betrayal displayed clearly in her electric blue eyes.

“Wh-what are you doing?” Vesper demanded, her voice shaking.

She took a step backwards, trying to get away from the knife, but she had nowhere to go except up against the wall behind her. Josef took a step closer, closing the inch or two of space that was left between them. He pressed the knife against her throat, though not enough to cut her.

“You have not yet been punished for your escape attempt,” He answered, his face threateningly close to hers.

“What about Carsten dying?” She whimpered.

“No, that was punishment for convincing him to betray me.”

“He didn't betray you,” She said. This only angered Josef, thinking she was still lying, and he pressed the knife harder towards her throat. She quickly continued. “He didn't mean for it to be a betrayal. He was just trying to do the right thing.”

“He might not have meant it, but he did betray me. All because of you, and because of him, you nearly escaped. Now, what are we going to do with you?”

With those words, he moved the knife away from her throat, and down towards her collarbone. Josef could tell she had frozen at his words, unsure of what he was going to do. He pressed harder, and Vesper cried out suddenly, as he cut across her chest in one quick motion. It wasn't a very deep cut, but it was about four or five inches long.

“Please,” She begged him, desperate. “Please don't do this.”

He pressed the knife against her neck again, this time doing it hard enough that he pushed her head back against the wall, and a few drops of blood escaped from beneath the knife. Something about this girl unbalanced him. A part of him wanted to hurt her, to make her her as miserable as he was sometimes. The other part wanted to protect her, keep her safe, and take care of her. He felt this constant inner battle, unsure of which one was the right choice. He couldn't stand all of this hesitation and doubt. It was going to drive him crazy.

It was just easier to not feel anything at all.

“I should just kill you now.”

The girl didn't move a muscle. She just stared at him in shock. After a moment, she seemed to find her voice.

“Wh-why?” Her voice was shaking, and she looked close to tears.

He ran the knife back and forth across her neck, not cutting her though, considering her question.

“Why not? Give me one reason, just one. Why shouldn't I kill you?”